


admire you

by autumn_serenity



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Boi™Jin, Bottom Min Yoongi | Suga, Cute Min Yoongi | Suga, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Just a little tho, Kim Seokjin | Jin Is Whipped, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Gay Panics, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Min Yoongi | Suga Is a Little Shit, Mostly Fluff, Original Character(s), Romantic Fluff, SOFTNESS 24/7, Soft Min Yoongi | Suga, Softness, THEY GAY AF, Top Kim Seokjin | Jin, a lot of fluff, all the tags are fem/mum stuff???, and so is jin, but with very good reason i mean have you SEEN kim seokjin, i had to make my own jin is whipped tag cos ao3 didn’t come thru, idk the tags don’t make sense, jin is a smoker tho, kim seokjin is a literal prince tho, lol, made some OCs for diversity, minjoon - Freeform, more specifically:, my boy a whole Top™, ok not really but let’s pretend, so many cute tags for moongi yes, theres no cool tags for him what is this, this story is so soft compared to my yoonmin one?, this takes place in america, vhope - Freeform, who let me use this feature, with some sadness cos we need balance, yoonjin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:31:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 38,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumn_serenity/pseuds/autumn_serenity
Summary: “winning, losing... none of that really matters. what’s enticing is the risk.”———min yoongi isn’t necessarily a socially inept hermit, but god damn, is it beginning to feel like it. he can’t get himself to approach the tall boy in his photographs.he just doesn’t know the other is curious about the short boy behind that camera lens, admiring him from a distance.





	1. walk

they were doing it again. 

this was the reason yoongi spent so much valuable time on campus. his two best friends just couldn’t keep their hands off each other for like, thirty minutes. disgusting.

and he could hear the smacking of skin against skin past the walls dividing their rooms. 

loud. 

and.

clear.

he was tired of it.

yoongi did the only thing he could do in that moment, which was to button up his jumper and speed out of the flat and across the street to the campus. he wasn’t free, not even on a saturday. he couldn’t seem to escape school. of course, he brought his camera and a small satchel with him. inspiration always seemed to sneak up on him and he wanted to be prepared. 

it would strike him any moment now.

any... moment... 

today was particularly slow. 

he decided to flip through his notebook while sat on a bench, flinching when he made it to _those_ pages. he couldn’t escape the memory of him, and, to be honest, he wasn’t trying anymore. it was just one of those things that popped into his mind now and again. it happened when it happened.

like heart attacks. 

a bright blue and black butterfly landed on his hand for a fraction of a second, then fluttered to the space on the bench. yoongi fumbled for his camera, snapping a shot before it flew away. but yoongi wanted more shots, and he was in awe at how the wings almost seemed to glow, so he followed the butterfly’s frantic ups and downs with his camera, shutter going off and off and off again. yoongi had made almost an entire 360 by the time the butterfly said it’s last goodbye, but he wasn’t discouraged at the last part. there had to be a good picture in there, at the very least one. otherwise he had just made some fellow classmates witness the Distressed Gay™ dance. for no reason or profit. at all. 

he turned to his abandoned notebook thoughtfully. maybe he could write about butterflies? but all he could think off was that one song a classmate had been belting out...

_aight aight aight aight aight aight aight, got me feeling like a feeling like a papillon!_

artistically tragic. or well, no. it was actually quite horrid. catchy, but horrid. or maybe yoongi was a music snob. he dismissed the thought quickly when he realised he once drunkenly declared the spongebob theme song a mozart piece of their generation. 

he needed a walk. 

and walk he did, taking more photos of the scenery around him, and even asking some loitering students for a few shots. the day was fresh, and cloudy, but yoongi’s smile at the strangers he photographed made them feel like a summer day. it was a gift of sorts. 

and someone noticed that warmth, curiosity stopping him from taking a drag of his cigarette. the way he moved made him seem so charming, with his gummy grins and tiny, sweater paw waves. he was so small, looked like a high schooler, even. and god, was everything about him so endearing, even the way his hands clutched the camera. he was enthralled by the pale boy with the sun in his smile.


	2. they see me thirdwheelin’, they hatin’

“you know, you can come with us, yoongi.” 

“you’re our best friend! we kind of want you there, too!”

yoongi peered at them from the rim of his mug and rolled his eyes before chugging down the contents. “yeah, i get it. you need a chaperone. a chaperone or an accessory?”

namjoon groaned. “yoongi, don’t be like that. we really actually want you there. need you there, even.”

yoongi nodded. “ah, so a photographer!” 

“yoongi...” jimin tried with a pout. “stop being a little shit, we really do mean it! how are we gonna take a friendaversary trip without you?”

yoongi grew silent at that, turning to his side with a grimace. “i’m just tired of being an afterthought, is all. you’re both constantly with each other, and while that’s not a bad thing, it’s suffocating that you’re always all over each other. i want my friends, guys. it’s... it’s getting lonely.” 

“you were like that when you were with the one who shall not be named,” jimin quipped, “you were completely inaccessible. your entire world revolved around him and you left us. at least we still acknowledge our friendship and are trying to organise this trip. we straight up lost you.” 

yoongi sneered. “i’d take your words more seriously if you weren’t groping joon’s thigh underneath the table at a god damn public cafe,” he grumbled, crossing his arms after. “i’ll think about it,” he finally replied after namjoon’s cheeks returned to their usual colour. “i’ve gotta go to class.” 

“yoon, we have the same class together and we have thirty minutes,” jimin whined, “stop running away from us.”

”they see me rollin’, third wheelin’,” they heard a voice sing. they turned to a beaming taehyung with his boyfriend hoseok clinging to him with silent laughter. yoongi pushed his chair back and stood up with a glare, punching taehyung in the stomach before storming out. “tiny but spicy, ain’t he?” he wheezed, glaring at hoseok who now almost sank to the floor with loud peals of laughter. 

“told you he’d hit you,” hoseok finally replied when he calmed down. they sat down with jimin and namjoon, hoseok rubbing taehyung’s shoulder sweetly. “baby boy yoongi needs to spread his wings and fly from your nest,” he lamented. “he loves you two to death, but how is he gonna do anything when you two expect him to cling to you?”

taehyung sighed. “what baby boy needs to do is spread his legs, not his wings. but i agree. don’t you think he feels tired of being an afterthought? of hearing you two constantly go at it in his own apartment? you don’t even live there, jimin, and you sleep there more than him.”

jimin bit his lip and looked down at his unfinished croissant. “we really do love him, though. he’s our best friend.” 

taehyung shrugged. “pull namjoon’s dick out of your ass and let him know.”

well, it’s not that yoongi didn’t know. it was more like he couldn’t believe it. not after all he went through while they remained unchanged. he had been stupid to give his heart to someone so fickle, and it was his complete undoing, but minie and nam? what changed about them besides their relationship status? their definition of helping him “get over” his ex was to distract him with their favourite activities that always ended up being more of a date plus yoongi. 

the fact that everyone could tell he was thirdwheeling constantly made things even worse for him. 

he ended up wandering aimlessly, taking shots and shots of birds, flowers, and a rabbit he found near the fountain. he took several with flash and no flash, waving at the alumni who recognised and were fond of his number one venting tactic. 

by the time he had taken a hundred new photos, he was five minutes late to his political science class. 


	3. he’s fine with a trademark sign, as in Fine™

it was that time of the week again. friday. every friday, yoongi would go through his camera roll and delete 90% of his photos. he was as good as he was meticulous, and his photographs had to reflect that. not a single food wrapper or photobombing double chin could get in the way, even though yoongi was not taking these photos for profit. but maybe that’s why it was so important. it was a project for himself, from himself. a constantly updated time capsule he hoped to cherish in the future. 

he kept three of the butterfly shots, but the others had been impossibly shaky and unsteady due to his frantic movements. it was a shame, because that was the most beautiful butterfly he had ever had the pleasure of photographing. 

he was looking through the monday bunch now, patiently examining and adjusting his glasses as he zoomed in, inspected, and scrolled to the next. he had only taken one shot of the bunny on the fountain, so he hoped to god it was good enough to keep. he really loved having photos with animals and insects in the scene. he found those images the most pleasing. he examined centimetre by centimetre, zooming in and out and maybe exaggerating a bit because he really wanted to keep that photo. he made it to the right hand side and stopped breathing. 

what the actual _fuck_.

was that satan himself? a whole ass demon disguised as a fine ass man?

”fuck,” yoongi hissed. “fuck!” he leaned closer to the screen, nose touching the monitor before he backed away again. “oh, my god, my gay is showing. who are you?” he zoomed out in order to see if his full body had been photographed and it had been, to which yoongi thanked the heavens for. the stranger was tall, and fit. and holy shit, were his shoulders wide. the man looked as if he were posing, and it infuriated yoongi. how did he not notice him? carefully, he zoomed into the face and let out a very uncharacteristic half-screech, half-growl of exasperation. 

his lips were to die for. 

actually, he was keen on dying for them right now. 

he wanted to know his name so badly, but asking jiminie or nam meant getting teased and questioned, and there was a huge chance they didn’t even know him to begin with. but god, was he a sight. what could he do? 

well, going near that fountain could warrant some sort of met-you-coincidentally-my-dear-soulmate moment, and yoongi could ask for his name (and major maybe just to be cool and casual) and ask him for a couple photos for his project. and then maybe mr tall, mysterious and painfully handsome would take interest in him and keep the conversation going, until they ended up at the freudian cafe with mugs in their hands and grins on their faces.

or maybe he could always be a little more realistic and forget about him. yeah, seemed a little more plausible. it was a huge campus with lots of students and this was obviously a once in a lifetime shot. but even after accepting that bittersweet reality, he really wanted to see him, or know his name, or something. he was too fucking fine with a capital F for yoongi to just go on about life as if he hadn’t photographed a whole god. 

he pushed his hair back and sighed, puffing his cheeks. 

he was an adult, a man, and he was going to make the right choice. 

he finished clearing out his photographs as per self-set protocol and grabbed an apple, waltzing out of his room with his satchel and camera in tow. 

he was going to go find him. 

jin didn’t care anymore. it had been six days of him seeing the kid around and he couldn’t approach him? it was ridiculous. he was seokjin, for christ’s sake. how could he not do this? he took an angry drag of his cigarette, earning a chuckle from one of his friends. 

“i’ve never seen you so exasperated over some random stranger. just approach him, you fag. what’s he gonna do, bite your ankle?”

”don’t call him... the f word,” his other friend hissed. 

jin snorted. “don’t worry. it’s an established term of endearment between us. and trust me, i want to, but there is no way in hell i can approach him without being creepy. he’s like half my height! imagine me going up to him all casual and shit. he’d probably scream and run away.” jin mentally shuddered at the scenario in his head, cringing and accidentally dropping his cigarette. 

“okay, then. so what are you gonna do?”

jin stepped on his fallen cig, sighing. “i dunno, go find him.”

”you just said you were afraid of approaching him!”

jin snapped his eyes up to glower at his friend. “i’m going to get close to his shooting locations, is what i mean. he has to notice me that way. i’ve seen him ask strangers for a couple pictures. if he sees me, there’s no fricking way he won’t ask me. i’m sex on two legs.”

”that’s... cocky of you. but maybe you won’t have to go hunt him.” 

jin’s eyebrows furrowed. “hm?”

his friend subtly pointed to his right. “seems like bambi walked himself into the hands of the hunter already.” 

“looking at him up close,” his other friend commented, “he’s not as periwinkle and flower petals as you described him. the boy has some edge underneath that cardigan.”

seokjin watched in awe as the short boy played with a big blue and black butterfly in his hands, carefully sliding one out and taking a snap with his phone. seokjin just about melted when the butterfly flew away and the boy pouted. lucky butterfly. 

“wow, i’m whipped,” jin breathed as the cute stranger took his camera again and continued his routine. “so, so whipped. catch me in your pumpkin pie, fuckers. i’m premium whipped topping. hell, for him i’d be a whipped bottoming, too.”

his friends snorted and moved on from the topic, but seokjin kept looking at the boy with the angelic smile. 


	4. subtle is my middle name. well it would be if i had one.

yoongi was no chicken. 

sure, he didn’t like crowds and he got overwhelmed easily and he preferred peace and quiet over anything, but he was pretty darn social. he had no problem going up to strangers and asking them to model. he was okay ordering his own food (he was an adult, damn it!), and phone calls didn’t daunt him. he very much enjoyed group projects. 

but this tall, god of a man just made it so difficult to even function. 

how did his friends not — i don’t know, cry?

ugh, but yoongi really wanted to get closer, take another photo, or twelve. or a thousand. he wanted the stranger to look at him with interest and talk to him, ask him out for a simple brunch date, maybe catch a movie. he knew in his heart this man was not straight—the universe was cruel to yoongi, but not that much— but he wanted to know if he stood a chance.

but then again, he had treated jeongguk like a god damned king and yoongi still hadn’t been enough. 

but enough thinking about him, yoongi chastised himself with a scowl. this was about Mr Fine™ slinging his leather jacket on his shoulder just as yoongi crept a little closer. just his breathing was a work of art. 

“he’s closer today. i think he’s into you, too. he’s not exactly subtle either—. what the hell are you doing?” 

jin threw a knowing smirk from behind his sun glasses, to which his best friend snorted. “what? he’s staring at me. i’m just posing for the paparazzi.”

but then the small stranger climbed atop a bench and moved the camera way above jin’s head, taking a gorgeous shot of the setting sun’s rays on the library’s glass wall. 

“or maybe he wasn’t photographing me, that little shit.” he then groaned, setting his jacket down on the fountain ledge dejectedly. “can’t he just, i don’t know, look at me? i’m trying to throw hints that i want him and i to do the beneath the sheets tango.” 

his best friend of all his life looked up from his biochem text and blinked twice before standing up and beating him with it. 

yoongi turned back toward the fountain when he heard a loud male voice. 

“have some decency, you overgrown bean sprout!” 

he wondered why the other guy was cursing at Mr Fine™ and hitting him with a book that cost more than his life, but sat down on his bench and threw a few glances their way, reaching into his satchel for his notebook. 

_your soft lips_

_beckon me with their every breath_

_but i can’t move_

yoongi wanted so bad to approach him, or for him to come to yoongi, but he was still afraid. 

yoongi was no chicken.

but his heart had been stomped on and spat at enough. he wanted to stop being so negative, which is why he started getting more into photography, but that brat had done some serious damage. it had already been a year, but yoongi could feel his heart stuttering even now. 

the way the stranger’s soft lips moved piqued his interest. what did his voice sound like? were his words gentle? edged? raspy? smooth? warm? he wanted to know. 

but he didn’t want to put himself out there like that. yes, it was dumb and he knew it, but he was hoping, and this would sound stupid said aloud, but he was sincerely hoping the stranger was as curious about him as yoongi was. and then maybe he’d be the one to do the dirty work and break the ice. 

conversational ice? or the ice encasing his heart? 

his pen was at it again.

_call out my name_

_pull me in with sweet syllables_

_your voice against my heart_

oh, god was this cheesy.

but yoongi couldn’t stop jotting down words. this was nothing like the organised, rhyming, lyrical strings of words he always arranged. this was his mind, his heart, demanding to be heard. 

fruitless effort, considering this notebook would just go back into his satchel, read by no one but yoongi himself. never the man the words were meant for. 

jin looked back to the small blondie only to see him slowly pack his things with features crumbling under the weight of his sadness. he began to panic. why was he so sad? why so suddenly? seokjin wanted to go ask him, comfort him even, he really did. 

but he couldn’t will his nerves to move. 

 


	5. can’t get with the slang of today’s youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i owe you lot three chapters aaaa  
> med school is no joke i’m so sorry.   
> it was crazy; my friend and i actually cried and finals ain’t even here yet. but they’re creeping closer.   
> anyway thank you sooooo much for checking this out. fluff not your cup of tea? do you like yoonmin? i am currently writing a two part yoonmin series called H lol. the first book is very emotionally damaging but hahaha if you’re into that check it out :)

“day fourteen, and he’s closer today,” seokjin heard his friend remark with a giggle. “you should just go and talk to him.”

”ezra,” seokjin pleaded, “stop. it’s difficult as is. look at him...”

he snorted. “yeah, that’s the only thing you’re ever gonna do. look at him. cos you don’t have the guts to approach him. oh no, the tiny blonde is so intimidating with his shortness and his camera and has got me bustin’ multiple uwus—.”

”ezra,” seokjin interrupted with a deep breath, “what the fuck is an ooh-woo?”

”it’s u-w-u, jin. it’s... never mind.”

”i really don’t understand your teen lingo.”

”jin, we’re the same age.” 

jin turned to the boy and sighed, seeing him frown as he wrote and wrote more on his notebook. was it homework? who wrote their essays by hand nowadays? “shit he’s so pretty. i feel bad for calling a boy pretty but look at him.”

at that, yoongi looked up and met the tall stranger’s gaze, feeling heat creep up his cheeks as he looked away quickly and closed his notebook, packing things up. 

jin felt his heartbeat grow erratic. he was leaving. he was caught snooping. it was now or never, he realised. 

“baby boy!” he heard a voice yell. yoongi and jin turned to the sound as a boy with a wide grin and—was that a mullet?— launched himself at the smaller. 

jin saw the blondie flinch but grin, accepting the hug before pulling away and flicking his forehead. “you’re lucky it’s not a punch this time,” jin heard him joke. 

oh, god. 

his voice was not what he expected. at all. 

“ezra i’m going into cardiac arrest,” jin called. “did you hear his voice?”

ezra helped his overdramatic best friend sit down with a shake of his head. “jin, my ochem midterm is two days away. i have no time to eavesdrop on people.”

jin twisted to look behind him, only to see another boy with them, hugging them both to him. the other looked familiar. from stats last semester. hoseok? something like that. he watched them talk a little, and laugh here and there. and then he saw the way their auras slightly darkened as hoseok said something like “move out.” 

yoongi looked at his two friends. “no. nam and i are best friends. we’ve been living together for—.”

”we know. but you’re miserable in your own home. you’re the one with the lease, yoongi. you should establish some rules. jimin sleeps, eats, showers there and he doesn’t help with rent utilities or groceries. he’s not your best friend, he’s your pet cat.”

”hoseok—!”

”i know you’re cool whipped for your best friends, yoongi, but when was the last time you were in your own home—and enjoyed it?”

”you can stay with us for a while until you figure it out,” taehyung added. “hoseokie and i have no need to fuck every two hours and we’re pretty tidy. even if you just want to crash with us once in a while—.”

yoongi bit his lip, brows furrowed. “i don’t know how to feel about this. you guys are basically telling me to be mean to my best friends. i know it looks bad, but it’s okay. i’m just bitter because i’m single. leaving to stay with you guys would be the same. we’re all friends,” he pressed, “we shouldn’t be discussing things like this. any problems we have we should discuss together as a group. and, as of now, my only problems are that i’m single and pining over someone who i don’t even know, and that jimin gets kinkier every night. and therefore louder. but that’s it.”

”you should at least buy some earplugs—.”

”taehyung, oh my god did you hear what he said? oh god the uwus are jumping out!”

yoongi snorted. “t-the what? what’s an ooh-woo?”

”you! you’re a whole ass uwu!”

yoongi didn’t understand.

”you have a crush!”

jin choked when he heard hoseok’s declaration. he coughed for air and ezra hit his back with his textbook, trying to get him to breathe. yoongi looked up and they made eye contact briefly before the smaller turned to his friend and glared him down. 

“for now, we keep this between us three. please,” he hissed. “i’m hungry. let’s catch a quick bite. let me call joonie.”

jin swatted ezra away as the rest of their group came to them with paper bags full of food. “dude he has a crush. do you think it’s me?”

seokjin had never seen anyone laugh as loudly as ezra in that moment in his entire life. 


	6. oh how the turntables

seokjin walked around the same area for the third time and heaved a sigh. he hadn’t seen his blondie in three days. just when ezra had managed to convince (force) him to go talk to him. 

seokjin had put some effort into this. 

first, he had made some research with the help of his mum on the type of butterfly that seemed to be attracted to the short boy. then he had gone on youtube and searched for butterfly-related crafts. he then bought a glue gun. and made a mess of things. three attempts later, he struggled to write something for him, but after three discarded papers (front and back), he settled for a simple line. glue burns, an all nighter full of overthinking, panicking, and unnecessary planning, and three energy drinks later, he had headed for campus. but he couldn’t find him. same story the next day. same story today. he felt the flower of hope in him wilt slightly. what if ezra was wrong and jin wasn’t the crush? what if he was with him right now?

this was exhausting.

he had never once talked to the boy. this shouldn’t hurt so much. jin looked at the time and realised he hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch and decided to head to the freudian, ordering a frappe and a sandwich before taking a seat in the corner. he had the sudden itch to smoke and he tapped his fingernails on the shiny surface of the table, looking around the room. 

the door opened and in came who he had been trying so hard to find. 

and he had company. lovely for jin’s self esteem. 

jin immediately recognised the guy he came with and felt his stomach churn. what was his blondie doing with namjoon of all people? they picked up their drinks from the mobile order window and sat down smack in the middle of the cafe, perfectly viewable from seokjin’s seat. 

it started off as a normal conversation with some sips of their drinks, blondie avoiding eye contact while he spoke. but then he wouldn’t stop looking at namjoon as his lips began moving faster and his eyes narrowed. namjoon reached hastily and wiped at the corner of blondie’s eyes. jin felt his heart ache. he was crying?

he slid his ugly ass glasses on and yep, blondie had tears in his eyes, and his nose was tinted scarlet. 

why? 

namjoon reached to caress blondie’s hair and jin felt bile in the back of his throat. 

dont touch him, don’t touch him don’t touch him! 

but blondie closed his eyes and sighed, nodding. 

but then his eyes snapped open, and he looked at his phone, eyes widening endearingly before he excused himself and bolted out of the cafe. 

jin sipped at his drink, debating. 

his flower of hope had definitely withered even more now, but he couldn’t give up just yet. namjoon wasn’t his crush right? blondie looked smarter than that. 

just when he had made up his mind, he saw another familiar face skip toward namjoon. this shorty bent down and kissed namjoon before sitting down. jimin’s tiny self brightened the room considerably but now jin felt worse. 

what if blondie had a crush on namjoon?

he’d be heartbroken if he saw them together. 

love wasn’t fair.

jin stormed out of the cafe, determined to find blondie and just get it over with! but he had no idea what direction blondie had gone. he desperately hoped it was the fountain. 

and it was.

yoongi was on the fountain now, asking the tall boy’s friends if they would be willing to model for him. he saw one of them choke back a giggle as he posed. 

yoongi had been disappointed that the day he had perfectly calculated the whole group would be here, his target was missing. he had been waiting for them to be together all at once so yoongi wouldn’t seem too obvious, but well there he was. photographing really attractive people. just not the one he came for. 

jin watched him from the bench near the fountain, taking out the card where he had written that one miserable line and smiling before he wrote down even more. it was in that moment he remembered how blondie always sat down here and wrote down something, mostly every day. his heart twinged with more hope. maybe he had been writing about him, after all. 

he put the card back in its envelope carefully and grinned as he saw his blondie talk with ezra with such a warm smile. he now saw why blondie sat down here mostly. 

the sun setting made for a beautiful scene and he looked absolutely breathtaking in it. 

oh, how the tables turn. 


	7. jokes on you i was checking you out first

telling namjoon he had a crush on someone and he was scared wasn’t as tough as he had thought. he felt lighter. and once he got home he and nam had spent some quality time together talking and playing video games (until jimin came) and yoongi had asked for namjoon’s advice. 

he had said “yolo the fuck out of it. go up to him.”

easier said than done, but yoongi was determined. 

approaching his friends yesterday, they had proven to be very nice to him. despite the motorcycles and smoking and leather jackets, they were ridiculously sweet. he especially liked ezra and jonathan. they seemed really eager to pose in the funniest way and yoongi had felt his spirits raise. he could approach the tall guy easier if either of them were there. 

and they were, but their friend wasn’t. again. haha. just his luck. 

“hey guys, i’m trying to get a panoramic photo, can you help me climb up the fountain?”

ezra closed his textbook with a shrug. “sure. you’ll get in trouble though.”

jonathan put his cigarette out and helped ezra lift him up. he was surprisingly heavy. 

“nah, i calculate when the campus security patrols. i’m good.” ezra snorted but stayed on guard just in case yoongi slipped. he was wearing a short sleeved shirt today, and he could tell yoongi worked out. he also had really big hands. not all periwinkle and flower petals. ezra looked away from yoongi briefly to smirk at jin, who was gawking at yoongi, mouth agape. “okay i’m done! hold my camera, i’m hopping off!” 

“we can help you,” ezra tried, but yoongi thrust his camera at him before taking a deep breath and jumping, stumbling and almost falling back to the water. “so extra.”

yoongi pouted but took his camera back. “thank you so much for—. oh, god! put that down!”

jin leafed through the notebook with a light snort. “you’re dedicated.”

yoongi gave his camera back to ezra, who spoke. “jin, why’re you going through yoongi’s personal stuff?”

yoongi was mortified, face scarlet. “please put it down, it’s personal.”

”you’re using me as your muse. have been for like a month. i have the right to know—. fuck!” he wheezed after yoongi retracted his wrist from the older’s abdomen. “what the fuck, you’re strong.”

yoongi flinched. “sorry! didn’t want to! but you don’t listen!” he took his notebook from the tall boy. “you’re an asshole!”

”very smooth, jin. very smooth,” jonathan sneered. “way to go.” 

“sorry, guys.” yoongi took his camera, his notebook, and his satchel and rushed toward the campus exit. 

“is this what you’ve been whining for, jin? to scare the poor kid away?” ezra grumbled with a click of his tongue. 

but jin didn’t stick around to listen. he ignored the abdominal pain and jogged to catch up. yoongi looked behind him as he heard him call out. “blondie, wait!” yoongi shook his head and kept walking to the crosswalk, flinching when the light turned red. he slowly turned to meet the tall boy named jin, eyes scrunching almost shut due to the setting sun glaring at him. “wait. hi. wow.” he took a deep breath, nodding. “i’m doing this. okay. hi, i’m seokjin and i’m extremely gay for you.” 

“nice try, jerk—.” yoongi turned around to cross the street but his arm was pulled back firmly. “what is it now, seokjin?”

jin felt nervous now, especially hearing his blondie say his name. “i’ve got something for you.” he dug through his backpack awkwardly, some people, looking at them on their way to the crosswalk. “you’re not the only one writing poems. well, mines not a poem. but i tried. thing is,” he continued, handing yoongi an envelope. he reached for it with a pale, shaky hand. “you aren’t the one who fell first. you feel guilty and embarrassed cause i saw you were writing about checking me out, huh? well, jokes on you because i checked you out first.” 

“w-what. hey, what are you saying?”

jin smiled. “open the envelope.”

 yoongi bit his lip but nodded, taking out the handmade card from the inside. the front was completely covered in glitter and a beautiful drawing of a blonde guy with a butterfly was smack in the middle of all the sparkle. “oh, god. i can’t open this here. can i just go and maybe get back to you?”

seokjin shook his head. “it’s now or never, blondie.”

yoongi shook his head. he was a god damned hard ass man. he could do this.

the moment he opened the card the slightest, a blue and black butterfly flew out, making him jump away with a yell. “is it real?!”

jin laughed a little. “nah. i found the idea on youtube. it’s a blue morpho. i asked my mum. mexico natives. they seem to like you, so i thought i’d...” he drifted off when he saw yoongi reading the card. jin winced, thinking maybe he had been cheesy, too cheesy.

yoongi calmly picked up the paper butterfly, tucked it back into the card, and slid the card back into the envelope. he sandwiched the card into his notebook and slid the notebook into his satchel, not looking up at jin as he dug for a pen. he found a sharpie and shrugged, tentatively reaching for jin’s hand with pink dusting his cheeks.

“what are you doing?”

 yoongi looked up from the hand. “it’s my number,” he drawled calmly. “let’s meet for coffee tomorrow. i’d... i’d like to get to know my secret admirer a little more.”

jin stood there, frozen, staring at yoongi. it was that easy? just? what? all he had to do was approach him and get his number? who would have known?

he flinched at the flash of the camera going off and focused back on yoongi, who was smiling widely, gums showing adorably. “see you tomorrow.”

seokjin felt the words rush out of him with no warning.

”is tonight too soon?”

yoongi, much much calmer now, smiled a little softer. “text me.”

oh, he will. _you bet your cute ass i will,_ he thought, saving his number as the short boy finished crossing the street. 


	8. gAy pAnIC

yoongi opted for the stairs today, walking up calmly and strolling to his front door. unlocking it, he removed his shoes and hung his satchel on the rack, placing his keys and camera on the small bureau next to the coat rack. 

he shut the door ever so lightly.

”hi, yoon!” jimin greeted. “joonie just ordered pizza and pasta—.” 

“fuck!”

jimin blinked and namjoon rushed down the stairs, tripping twice. “yoongi? what’s wrong?”

”guys, i’m so gay!” he slapped his cheeks lightly, then slightly harder, wincing. “i’m so fucking gay, wow!”

”we been knew,” jimin drawled, eyes narrow. “but why are you yelling it? you’ll freak the neighbours out.” 

but yoongi was gone, dancing around namjoon as he sprinted up the stairs. “now what the hell do i wear?!” 

namjoon and jimin stared at the direction yoongi had disappeared but then winced when he slammed his door shut. 

yoongi stared at his room and repressed another yell. what if he wanted to meet tonight? yoongi was in no way going to say no, but what the hell was he wearing? he was glad seokjin hadn’t texted him yet—.

his phone pinged.

”spoke too soon,” he lamented, reaching for his phone on his night stand. it had been left charging all day so it was very warm. he already had two other messages from him. 

 **maybe: seokjin** : hey blondie it’s seokjin :(

 **maybe: seokjin** : i meant :)

 **maybe: seokjin** : so... we on for tonight? :)

yoongi saved his number quickly and replied.

 **me** : hi hey it’s yoongi :D yes we can tonight on one condition:D

this will buy him some time to choose an outfit. 

 **seokjin** : ouch. conditions now?

 **me** : i just want to know something

 **seokjin** : what do you want to know cutie?

 **me** : if you saw me first why didn’t you approach me?

 **seokjin** : haha don’t laugh

 **seokjin** : i was a little scared

 **seokjin** : okay a lot scared 

yoongi yelled again. this wasn’t healthy for his vocal chords. 

his phone rang with an incoming call and he panicked, dropping it on the rug. he couldn’t not answer, since he had been texting him already, so he picked up the phone and took a deep breath. “hi, seokjin,” he greeted. 

jin smiled at how feathery his voice sounded. it was obvious he was flustered. this was payback for the photo he had taken near the crosswalk. “hey, sunshine. so are we meeting tonight or are you not done questioning me?”

”i-i’m done. to be honest, i was just freaking out about meeting you because i didn’t know what to wear but i do now.”

jin hummed, looking at himself on the reflection of a car’s window. was he supposed to change too? “what are you going to change? you looked great earlier.” 

yoongi took a calming breath. “t-thanks. but, it’s... it’s a date and i climbed fountains and trees today, so i don’t want to wear that!” silence ensued and he panicked. “s-seokjin? did i say something wrong?”

”god, you’re precious. okay. there’s this spot i think you’ll like. do you want me to pick you up?” 

yoongi nodded and took a deep breath. “yeah, yes. i live across the street from campus. the big white, black and yellow building.”

”you live _there_? that’s so close, you’re lucky! okay, shortie. i’ll be there in thirty minutes, i need to drop off a friend first.” 

when they said goodbye and yoongi hung up, he threw his phone at the bed and began digging through his clothes. he had thirty minutes to get ready and going by these weeks he’s been observing seokjin, he knew he was punctual. like, _punctual_. he had to make sure he wore something that would accentuate whatever assets he hopefully had. 

it’s been so long since he last freaked out over what to wear. 

he slid the clothes on, dug out some accessories and hastily cleaned his boots, checking himself in the mirror and hesitating before adding some BB cream and a tiny bit of eye shadow and lip balm. he was panicking profusely and was scared of sweating everything off so he grabbed his handheld fan and ran it back and forth across his face. all the while he had been panic-yelling out random strings of words and curses. 

jimin and namjoon walked into his room and stopped on their tracks when yoongi turned to them. jimin blushed and namjoon raised a brow with a smirk. “going out, chubs?” jimin asked, not containing his grin.

”about damn time you grew the balls—.”

”namjoon, you knew and didn’t tell me? yoonie, you didn’t tell me?! we’re best friends!” 

“okay, reprimand me later but not now a gay is stressed and that gay is me!” he pointed at himself dramatically, jabbing his finger at his own chest. 

“technically, love, you’re bisexual.”

”okay, bitch, we know. but gay is like an umbrella term for stressed non-hets.”

”i think—.”

”i’m stressed, jimin! i’m—.” his phone rang and he groaned. “i can’t. i’m gonna... i dunno. jump off the edge of my bed or some shit. i can’t answer. fuck!” he reached for the phone and took a deep breath once again replying with the same faux smoothness. jimin giggled. “hey, you,” he tried.

”hey, i know i’m five minutes late but i’m outside now. you ready?” yoongi stopped breathing, eyes wide. namjoon thought this was amusing. “if you’re not ready, i can wait?”

”n-no! i’m ready! so ready! running down the stairs now! i’m going! bye!” 

“bye—?” jin looked at his phone and chuckled. he was adorable. 

“you’re gonna give him a heart attack,” namjoon warned, jimin nodding by his side as the three went down the stairs. “take it easy on him or you’ll kill him before the second date.”

”dude, stop. i’m nervous already. argh, okay. i’m cool. i’m yoongi. i’m the best underground rapper of this fucking generation.” namjoon coughed. “ _the_ best. i got this. i’m a hard, badass dude. i’m the fucking _best_.”

and he walked out of his apartment after getting his keys, almost sprinting down the stairs to the lobby, haltering when he saw seokjin waiting there with a small bouquet of flowers. but seokjin couldn’t move. his entire world was spinning. 

was it legal to be that hot?

he had never seen him wear anything else but jeans and jumpers except for today that he had worn a tee to school. but now... 

fuck was he greatful he was gay. 

because yoongi in a crop top and fishnets was a sight to fucking see. bright red fishnets beneath black jeans folded at the ankles, combat boots, a black crop top and a leather jacket (a leather jacket!) paired with a choker and his piercings (he had piercings!!) were the complete opposite of what he usually saw him wear. and fuck, was this great. “wow. wow, okay, i feel attacked and that’s okay. yes. i bought these flowers because they reminded me of you, but i expected you to come down with a fluffy jumper or something pastel coloured? you need a whole new bouquet.”

”t-this one’s fine! i love baby’s breath!”

”you need fifty fuchsias.”

”just a rose will do with me. don’t spend so much money on me.” yoongi took the bouquet and smelled the roses, smiling at how sweet they were. 

seokjin resisted the urge to pull him in and kiss him senseless, holding the door open for him and leading him to his car. 

 _please, god, give me strength to keep my hands to myself,_ hepleaded, looking up at the sky. 

 _please, cosmos, help me keep my pants on,_ yoongi wished fervently as he watched the way jin’s adam’s apple moved when he swallowed. he briefly wondered how his legs would feel on those broad shoulders—.

nope. don’t think that right now. yelling in utter gay panic isn’t good manners for a first date.

yoongi clutched the flowers closer to his chest. he hoped he wouldn’t ruin tonight.


	9. drinks and a disaster

while yoongi scanned the cafe, jin let his gaze memorise his facial features. he was aware of the looks he was getting due to his intense staring, but unless yoongi told him to stop he wasn’t going to.

yoongi didn’t know how to tell him to stop, but he really didn’t want him to, either, so he kept quiet and continued his surveying of the room.

the silence began to carry for too long, though, so he finally looked back at jin. “i like the vibe. thank you for bringing me.” he made the mistake of looking into his eyes for too long and he found himself trapped in his brown orbs, lips parting slightly as he tried to breathe easier. seokjin was really, literally breathtaking and yoongi just couldn’t understand how such a god was attracted to him. he tried his best to look away but he couldn’t. seokjin was like a magnet. 

“don’t thank me yet,” seokjin replied, leaning in slightly closer. “you have to try it first. for now, let’s talk. let’s get to know each other better.” 

“right,” yoongi mumbled, running a hand through his hair. to say he was nervous would be an understatement. he’s surpassed that. he had kind of ascended into a weird level of calm-nervousness. mystical. “so, twenty questions?” 

jin nodded, placing his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand. “that should be enough for now. i think.” neither of them said anything, just looking at each other in silence. it wasn’t until yoongi licked his lower lip that jin blinked twice and cleared his throat. “right. uhm. why the fishnets?” 

yoongi jumped a little at the abrupt question, staring down at his lap before looking back up at seokjin. “i... i thought you’d be okay with it. it’s how i usually dress. sort of. i’m either dressed or in pyjamas. i’m just too lazy to look good for school, which is why i wear those honestly ill-fitting jumpers and overfaded jeans.”

”oh.” was all seokjin said.

”do you... not like it?”

”n-no, i do! trust me it’s great, you’re great. wow. i...” he took a deep breath, shaking his head and pointing at yoongi with his free hand. “you’re... yeah. your turn.”

the blonde looked across the table, humming while tapping his fingers on the shiny wood surface. “why me? you’re attractive enough to have celebrities on their knees. so why a short kid with baggy clothes and dark circles under his eyes?”

seokjin snorted. “because you’re more than that.” he reached across the table and tipped the younger’s chin up with his index, eyes once again roaming his face. he watched in awe as pink crept back to yoongi’s cheeks and smiled. “way more.” he pulled back when the waitress came up to their table, setting their drinks down before leaving with a smile. yoongi immediately took his tea, sipping on it furiously. he was flustered, to say the least. 

jin stared at the way his soft, peachy lips pressed down around the straw and shifted in his seat a little, clearing his throat. “well, my turn again,” he mumbled after pushing his drink to the side. he hadn’t even looked at it properly, being too immersed in his blondie. he marvelled at the way his lips relaxed around the straw before pushing his cup away and looking back up at him. 

when yoongi bit at his lower lip, it was jin’s turn to awkwardly chug his drink down. he couldn’t taste the iced cocoa. all he could feel was a burning all over his body. “are you okay?” he heard yoongi ask, but he couldn’t quite find his voice yet, so he took another big gulp from his cup. 

“dandy. dogs or cats?”

”either or. mostly dogs. what about you?”

jin shrugged. “dogs. favourite sport?”

”what the fuck is a sport?”

jin snorted. “that counts as a question.”

”no! seokjin–!”

”just jin is fine.”

”oh. okay.”

they both busied themselves with their drinks once again, both cups emptying in seconds. it was like a chugging contest, like they were both passive aggressively competing to see who was the most antsy. “this is a mess,” jin finally confessed, “not at all what i had in mind. i was supposed to pick you up, give you the flowers, compliment you on how great you looked, bring you here, show off my knowledge of the secret menu, and start a steady but entertaining conversation with you. instead we’re both just... so god damned all over the place. i’m sorry, blondie.”

yoongi pouted, feeling a pang in his chest. “i think it’s my fault. you’re used to lazy-college-student yoongi. and then suddenly, BAM,” he smacked the table, earning a few looks from other customers, “crop top and choker. i understand if i’ve made you uneasy. sorry.”

jin rubbed at his face. “god, yoongi, you’re not making me uneasy. you’re just making it really hard to not reach across the table and pull you in for a kiss. and you keep pouting and—.”

”— sorry.”

”—it’s a little overwhelming. don’t apologise.”

”for what it’s worth, i want you to kiss me.”

silence again. yoongi sighed and stared at their empty cups, shaking his head mentally. jin was right. this date was quickly failing. “i’m kind of hungry,” seokjin tried, scratching his head. “let’s go grab a bite, and maybe try this whole mess again?”

”i...” yoongi took a deep breath and prepared himself to tell the biggest lie of the century. “this isn’t a mess. stop calling it that.”

but seokjin saw right through him. “i think i’ll take you home instead. before things get worse.”

”oh.” yoongi stood up, zipping up his jacket. it was suddenly too cold. “i’m sorry i wasn’t what you thought i’d be.”

before seokjin had time to react, yoongi was already outside, walking toward the car. seokjin followed hastily, replaying the entire “date” over and over as he tried his best to catch up to his blondie without looking like a psycho. what had gone wrong? what could he do to fix things? was it just not worth it? 

he unlocked the car and they both climbed into it in complete silence, avoiding each other’s gazes. the flowers laid limply on yoongi’s lap now instead of being carefully cradled. the unfortunately long drive stretched out longer until yoongi spoke. “can you tell me what i did wrong?”

”what you did wrong? you did nothing wrong, this was all me.”

”stop. lying to me,” the smaller pressed, looking up toward him. “what did i do?”

”we’re both just... overly wound up. okay? you didn’t do anything.”

but yoongi wasn’t satisfied with that answer. 

whenever jeongguk would say that, it always ended up being something yoongi had done. the sudden thought of his ex-boyfriend and the fiasco brought by tonight made involuntary tears pool in his eyes, threatening to spill. he tried his best to carefully blink them away. he was stronger than that. he refused to shed tears over a guy he had just met _today_. he very well damned refused. 

twenty minutes or so later, seokjin parked the car right in front of the painfully neon building, turning to yoongi to say something, _anything_. but before he could get his mouth to work, yoongi climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut before disappearing into the dimly lit lobby of the complex.

jin groaned and banged his head against the steering wheel. what a fucking disaster. 

 


	10. the disaster gay tango

jimin shimmied down the stairs and toward the kitchen, humming brightly to a tune his mind randomly conjured. taking advantage that yoongi wasn’t home yet, he decided to sneak to the pantry and grab those god damned cookies he never shares. it was almost midnight, and jimin was actually pretty proud and giddy that yoongi was still not home. it meant he was having fun. it meant he was moving on. 

he shoved two cookies into his mouth on his way back up, but halted when he saw a bouquet thrown on the floor. yoongi’s boots were next to them, as were his keys, and it took him five seconds to digest the sight before he abandoned the box of cookies, sprinting up the stairs. 

“yoongi? yoongi!” 

he began knocking like crazy, and namjoon exited his room to check what was happening. yoongi opened his door soon after, eyes slightly red. he was clad in just sweats and a holey t-shirt now, and he crossed his arms with a scowl. “jimin, do you not realise what time it is?”

”chubs, you were crying,” jimin insisted, “so tell me what happened!” the blonde stared at his best friend, blinking slowly. 

“how did you even hear over the sound of your moans? you two have been at it for hours. look, jimin, i’m very tired right now and i’d much rather not talk about this—.”

”what did he do?”

yoongi snorted. “nothing. no one did anything. it’s just best if you drop it, okay? let’s move past this— the three of us. i’ll be back to normal tomorrow.”

but, as expected, he wasn’t.

he forced himself to go to class, he forced himself to walk, he forced himself to eat, even. and he didn’t take a single photograph. ezra had tried to talk to him, but yoongi fled, not giving the boy a chance to even say hi. 

seokjin looked for him like crazy all day, but yoongi could be very invisible if he wanted to. he thought of calling or texting him but he very well knew his blondie wouldn’t answer. sighing, seokjin did the only thing he could think of.

yoongi had seen seokjin everywhere today, and tried his best to dodge the tall boy, but what he didn’t expect was for seokjin to be waiting for him smack in the middle of the lobby, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, the smell of cigarette smoke hanging off him offensively. “what... are you doing here?”

”we’ve been dancing around each other all day and well, honey, i’m both tired and a terrible dancer.”

 yoongi felt his lip twitch upward a little bit and sighed. “i’m not any good either. hi, seokjin.”

seokjin pointed to his motorcycle outside and yoongi’s eyes widened, looking back to jin. “let’s go for a drive?” 

he wanted to hesitate, or leave altogether. he wanted to firmly say no. but he found himself pressed against seokjin’s back, oversized jumper lifting slightly due to their speed. he realised with dread that no matter how much of a fail last night was, he was in too deep. 

no way out of this dance floor now. 


	11. in the words of selena gomez, it comes naturally

he took a sip of his new favourite drink, eyeing the tower meticulously before making any decision. jin looked at him with a smile as yoongi tried to figure out which block to move next. “come on, blondie. it shouldn’t take you so long to pull a block.” yoongi placed his cup down as seokjin reached to caress his cheek. it was hard for yoongi to not turn bright red. “besides, you’re kind of losing. safe to say i’m the winner here.”

the blonde took jin’s hand in his in a suddenly bold move, shaking his head as he went back to examining the tower. “winning, losing, blah blah blah. none of that really matters, seokjin. what’s enticing is the risk.” he quickly flicked a block and the tower wobbled just a little before standing still. 

seokjin hummed, manoeuvring his hand so their fingers laced together. “so, you’re a risk taker. not as innocent as i thought you’d be.”

 yoongi scoffed. “literally no one ever told you i was innocent.” he looked up at seokjin and tried to maintain eye contact, but the older’s gaze was too intense. drifting down to his lips briefly before fluttering back up to bright brown orbs. 

“i don’t know. you’re sending mixed signals here. you’re saying you’re not innocent but you seem very shy. i think you’re all bark and no bite.” seokjin studied the way yoongi’s eyes narrowed, framed by barely visible but powerful eyebrows. 

“i can definitely bite,” yoongi defended, voice dropping an octave.

”show me, then. take the risk.”

”it’s getting dark,” was all yoongi said, looking around the park. the area they were sitting wasn’t even that bright despite the lighting. “this park is notorious for coyote spottings and you don’t seem a very fast runner.”

”neither do you,” seokjin sassed, frowning. yoongi just smiled. “so should we head home, then, blondie?”

yoongi nodded. “yeah. and i don’t know about you, but i have a bit of homework to knock out of the way. but pull out one more piece. come on.”

”fine. but i’ll show you that overthinking your actions doesn’t make a difference—.” he tugged at a piece slightly and the whole jenga tower collapsed, wringing out a few laughs from yoongi whilst seokjin looked at the fallen blocks forlornly. they packed up the pieces and yoongi drank the last of his frappe before throwing it away. 

he stood in front of seokjin now, looking up at him with a smile while the other grimaced. “look at me, hey. you’re not upset over the game, are you? i told you, it’s all about the risk, so don’t even—.” he broke off with a sigh. “you played better than me, anyway. i just took a fundamentals of architecture class for fun last year and the professor taught us how to always win at jenga. you were the one actually taking the risks. seokjin, come on. look at me.”

he finally looked down to yoongi and let out the breath he had been holding. “i’ve tried twice to impress you. twice. and yesterday was awful. but today was just so basic. like, far below basic. jenga at a park? that’s my idea of making it up to you? i could’ve done better, so much better. you deserve more than sitting out in a picnic table playing with wooden blocks. it’s just the first thing that came to my mind. i figured, well i have jenga in my car. that’s a perfect activity. like, who thinks that?”

”me,” yoongi defended, “i think that. i enjoyed it. it felt natural, seokjin.”

”you’re just trying to make me feel better. look, can we just get one more redo?”

yoongi took the box of jenga from jin’s hand and placed it back on the table. “what can i do to convince you that i had a great time?” he cradled jin’s face in his hands. “you’re as stubborn as you’re handsome. how can i drill it into you that i genuinely enjoyed it?” yoongi’s head was spinning. he knew what he wanted to do, but he hadn’t had any sort of physical affection in such a long time that he felt himself revert to a novice, blinking too much as he tried to take in jin’s face. 

seokjin sensed the smaller’s hesitation, finding him endearing as he looked to the side and then back to his lips. he was comfortable admiring the way his facial expression changed so slightly but so dramatically. “you’re overthinking,” he remarked.

yoongi’s voice wouldn’t go beyond a whisper. “i know. sorry.” 

“what are you thinking?”

”how badly i want to kiss you.”

”you can.”

”can i?”

”mh-hm.” 

“okay. okay. i... i’m sorry. you’re just... a little out of my league and i can’t quite wrap my head around all this. you were the first to fall for me? you asked me out on a date? you wrote a poem for me? i don’t understand it. seokjin,” and the way his tone dropped again made jin’s chest hurt. “you’re not playing, are you? this isn’t... this isn’t a joke, right?”

”no, of course not. god, no.” jin places his hands atop yoongi’s, which were still on his face. “blondie, i’m so into you it’s ridiculous. don’t feel like that. why would it be—.”

cold, soft lips crashed against his own a little too abruptly, their teeth clashing as yoongi shook jin’s hands off and tangled his own into dark tresses. they fell into the same rhythm almost instantly, jin’s hands bringing the smaller closer by the waist. they lost themselves in each other a little too easily, jin fighting the urge to grip the younger lower, and yoongi having a hard time breathing. yoongi parted his lips, little gasps escaping in between softer strokes from the older, their kiss slowing down considerably as yoongi’s hands fell down to jin’s shoulders. jin pulled back but yoongi shook his head, attaching his lips back to jin’s and pushing him back until the back of his knees met the bench. jin sat down and yoongi didn’t think twice before straddling him, allowing jin’s tongue between his teeth. 

yoongi’s breaths were staggering now, a mix between a gasp and a low moan escaping his lips as jin’s hands squeezed his butt. yoongi rolled his hips against jin’s, who was already hard. 

“okay, we’re stopping here,” jin gasped out, hands stopping yoongi’s hips effortlessly. his lips were still on the younger’s, but the kiss was nothing above feathery touches while they both calmed their rough breathing. “that... that was... wow. it felt—.”

”natural, seokjin. good things come naturally.”

seokjin nodded, pulling away before kissing his forehead. “stop listening to 2000s music.”

”never. selena used to have thickass bops.” yoongi bit his lip but couldn’t contain a smile, blinding jin with its brightness. “we kissed!”

”yes, blondie, we did.”

”and you’re _hard_ for me! crazy!”

”you’re just... really good. i’m sorry.”

 yoongi peppered his face with kisses, stopping at his jaw to reply, “don’t be. you’re really good, too. seokjin...”

”just call me jin,” he interrupted. yoongi pinched his lips together. 

“seokjin... thank you. for the flowers, and the really cool cafe from yesterday and today. thank you for the game of jenga, and for... you know... but—.”

”—be my boyfriend.”

”—i think we need to—. what?”

”we need to what?”

”be your what?”

”boyfriend. but we need to what?”

”g-get to know each other more before we keep going with this.”

jin winced. “so it’s a no?”

”no, no, no! it’s... it’s a pause. let’s just hang out a little more and talk more. get to know each other better. and then we can make it official.”

seokjin frowned. “it’s gonna be yesterday all over again. what happened to letting good things happen naturally?”

”seokjin, i’m just... scared.” 

“were you scared a few seconds ago? yoongi, you pretend to like black coffee but can’t stand the bitterness so you load it with sugar. you say you dress lazily for school but it’s an aesthetic you have set and you take time to assemble most of your outfits. you have really big hands and you feel self-conscious about it a little sometimes, so you hide them in your sleeves. you look to the left when distracted, and to the right when nervous. when you’re bored or when it’s too quiet or when you’re thinking, your fingers move like you’re playing the piano. you pout a lot. you love sweet things. you’re ridiculously competitive. you write like you’re shakespeare’s descendant. you’re funny and witty, but shy and careful with who you open up to. yoongi, you’re amazing, and the more i see you, the more i learn, and the more i’m absolutely blown away. these are things i’ve gathered about you naturally, as we are right now. don’t force us into this dating bubble in which we’re most likely going to end up going home upset again. let things happen.”

”naturally?”

”naturally.”

”maybe naturally will be our—.”

”don’t.”

yoongi laughed, burying his face in jin’s neck. “okay.”

they sat there in comfortable silence— until the park ranger kicked them out. 


	12. it’s really hard to not say gay things when i have a cute boy sprawled next to me

“what about you then? what’s your favourite colour?”

seokjin hummed, thinking. “that’s a tough one. i look good in any colour. i’d have to say pink, though.”

”pink?” yoongi questioned, taking another chocolate and humming. “not what i expected. is it like a hot pink or something muted?”

”any shade,” the taller replied, “but yours is my favourite.”

”m-mine?” he felt heat creep into his cheeks and groaned. “ _that’s_ what you mean.” 

“you really do blush easily,” he joked.

”i know. i can’t stop.”

”i don’t want you to stop.” he reached for a chocolate as well, closing his eyes before sighing. “how do you like your steak?” 

the blonde smiled. “it really, honestly depends where i’m eating. if it’s a small, family owned place or a diner, well done. it’s easier for them. anything else, i’ll take it medium well, medium... what about you?”

”i appreciate the art that is food, so i’ll literally eat it any way as long as it’s not dry or burnt to a crisp. medium is my usual go-to for family dinners though.”

”fancy family dinners?” yoongi asked with a smile. seokjin cracked an eye open to roll it. yoongi chuckled. “don’t worry, i get it, too. the best part of not living with my parents is the avoidance of said dinners. my friend and i cook just fine. just wish my roommate would learn. in the rare cases one of us isn’t there to feed him, he either burns something or gives himself food poisoning.” 

“you have roommates?”

”well, yeah. i have one roommate. and his boyfriend. they’re both my best friends, though, so it’s not like i’m living with total strangers. the other lives with his parents still, though. or well, he pretends to. he’s in my house more than i am.”

seokjin hummed. “why do i have a feeling you’re barely home _because_ your friend is there?”

”you’re not wrong. but hey, thanks to my voluntary exile, _we_ met. and... and i’m glad we did.”

seokjin reached for yoongi, placing his hand on his cheek and admiring the way the younger’s features softened. “you’re so fucking stunning,” he breathed. yoongi pressed his lips together in a failed effort to suppress a smile. 

“two little lovers, lying on the grass,” yoongi heard taehyung’s voice taunt.

”probably discussing who gets to eat who’s ass?” hoseok continued, both of them laughing. seokjin sat up and smiled at hoseok, eyes hard.

”hey, hoseok, long time no see. you still looking for someone to fist you? because i’m so down right now.”

hoseok looked behind jin to his friend on the grassy ground. “you’re dating jinnie?!” 

taehyung smacked hoseok. “you asked to get fisted?!” 

“freshman year is for experimenting!”

”you were a freshman _weeks_ ago! you were dating me months ago! why are you asking random people...?!” taehyung’s words drifted away as hoseok hauled him from the two on the floor, begging him to shut up. 

seokjin lied back down again, turning on his side to look at yoongi. “i really don’t call you by your name much,” he mused with a hum. “always blondie.”

”sometimes shortie,” the other added with a smile. 

“and you never call me jin.”

”in my head, i do. sometimes,” yoongi quipped. “why?”

”everyone calls me jin, though.”

yoongi smiled. “exactly.”

”oh,” jin replied with a frown, which then turned into understanding. “ _oh_.”

yoongi shuffled closer and hid his face on jin’s chest. “you’re slow,” he joked, hand shyly playing with the collar of his shirt. he smelled of cologne and tobacco with hints of chocolate and yoongi felt himself melt into the mix. seokjin, definitely more confidently, pulled him closer and played with his hair, chuckling. yoongi enjoyed the rumbling against his ear. 

“so... still don’t want to say yes to being my boyfriend?”

 yoongi looked up with a pout. jin fought to stop himself from kissing the pout right off. “it’s been a week, seokjin. slow down.”

”you just feel so nice though. and you smell nice. and _you’re_ nice. and i want you to be my boyfriend because _that’d_ be nice, too.”

yoongi cracked a smile. ”do you ever stop saying corny things?”

”kinda hard to when i have such a cutie next to me.” 


	13. just like my parents except my parents mind their business

_clink, clink, clink._

for god’s sake, if they keep screeching their forks against their plates yoongi was going to absolutely  _lose his shit._

they weren’t talking to him or each other. they weren’t even eye-fucking each other. they just sat in silence, eating away at the meal jimin had so carefully made. yoongi knew they hadn’t gotten into a fight because they always solved all conflicts together, but this was weird as hell. since when do the love birds not act lovey dovey?

the blonde stabbed at a cherry tomato and pushed it into his mouth, nodding and pushing his plate away. this just had to stop. 

“guys, what the fuck? talk.”

but they just looked at each other and resumed eating. that earned them a groan from yoongi. why were they not talking to him? he wanted to talk! he waited a little longer, looking back and forth between them and hoping one would turn around to him and speak. that never happened, though, and he stood up ten minutes later. “fine. i’ll leave you two alone then.”

”tae and hobi saw you. with your man, i mean. but they were fighting, so they didn’t tell us much. you know how they are,” jimin spoke first, shrugging before shovelling a forkful into his mouth. “so who is he?”

 yoongi looked down, pretending not to know as he pulled his plate back to him. “that’s namjoon, jimin. he’s our best friend and the love of your life.”

”yoongi, you know what i’m talking about! who’s your boyfriend?”

the blonde just sighed. “i’d love to tell you, trust me, but i don’t have one.”

”then who’s your fuck buddy?” namjoon finally blurted. 

yoongi choked, sitting down and crossing his arms. “i do not have a fuck buddy! we’re just... testing the waters before taking any risks. just getting to know each other. nice stuff. you two wouldn’t understand because your lives revolve around sex—.”

”nuh-uh!” jimin exclaimed.

”sorry, just jimin’s does.”

”hey!”

”anyway! he is not my boyfriend. but i... i’m hoping he will be.” yoongi’s voice softened in the end as he looked down at the table. “he’s really nice. a-and his shoulders are so broad and his laugh is so strange and loud and exaggerated but it’s so soothing to me. he smokes, so there’s one flaw, but honestly he’s just so perfect. i’m smitten.” 

jimin and namjoon grinned at each other before turning to yoongi, who was doodling squiggles on the table with his finger. “why don’t you invite him to dinner?” namjoon suggested. “i’d love to know the man who brought my loveless friend to his knees.”

”maybe even literally,” jimin added with a snicker. 

but yoongi rolled his eyes. “guys, no. stop. you’re acting like my parents!” he looked at both of his friends, who were staring at him so fondly. like if he were a puppy or some shit. dandy. “i’m not your child.”

jimin giggled, mouth covered by a dainty hand. “they get so sassy as they get older!”

”i’m not your child!”

”bring him to dinner, young man. we need to know what kind of boy you’re dating,” namjoon joined, grinning. 

“fine,” yoongi bit, “if and only if he calls or texts me before i finish my food.” yoongi knew jin was busy right now and wouldn’t be able to get back to him until nine, so he smiled smugly. he knew his best friends, knew they’d agree. 

and they did.

”fine! but if he calls, we are your parents!” jimin enthused. 

yoongi rolled his eyes. “okay, midget. whatever tickles your peach.”

”one centimetre—!”

the kim possible theme song blared from within yoongi’s pocket. 

“no.”

”yes!”

”no!”

”answer!” 

“i hate you guys! i hate life!”

”c’mon, sasuke! just answer!” yoongi pulled his phone out slowly and took a deep breath but didn’t get to accept the call because jimin had yanked the phone from him. “hi, hello!”

”oh, god, please no!” yoongi wailed. “give it back!”

jin looked at the screen to make sure he had dialled the correct contact. “h-hello. is blon—yoongi there?”

”yoongi is just finishing dinner—! behave, young man! anyway, we heard yoongi has a new friend! it seems my son likes you very much!” the voice continued with a giggle and jin could hear yoongi’s distressed pleads in the background. “his father and i would love to meet you! right, honey?”

”you two are the worst!” he heard yoongi growl. seokjin bit back a laugh. 

“i’d love to, mr min, but i think that’s something for him to decide. w-we’re not dating or anything, well, not yet—a-and i would feel more comfortable if yoongi felt more comfortable. he doesn’t sound very thrilled about having me for dinner.” 

jin heard mr min blow out a sigh. “he’s been prattling about you all dinner long. he wants you here. it’s ultimately your choice, but i’d very much like to meet you!”

seokjin looked at the mirror on his desk. his face was flushed all over. are all parents like this?

”i-i’ll talk to him more calmly later. thank you for the invitation, mr min. a-and send my regards to mr-mr min, too.” 

he hung up after yoongi’s dad bid him good night and took a deep breath. 

yoongi talks about him nonstop.

his parents want to meet him.

_they're not even in a relationship._

things are just moving so fast! yoongi had been right about that, then. things were already happening so swiftly naturally. seokjin was so glad to have yoongi as his little voice of reason. 

yoongi took his phone back solemnly and sighed. “now he thinks you two idiots are my dads. he’s gonna kick me off the curb for sure.”

”we _are_ your parents,” jimin chirped.

yoongi shook his head. “neither of parents look twelve, or meddle in my life as much as you do. oh, god, what am i gonna do?”


	14. sichuan sauce sucks

“so, it wasn’t your dads,” seokjin hummed, chuckling. “your friends are something else. you’ve no idea how nervous i was.” 

yoongi groaned. “and you got no idea how absolutely mortified _i_ was!” 

“oh, i heard you, trust me.” jin dipped another chicken nugget into one of the many containers they had cracked open and waited for yoongi to open his mouth, wiping the excess dip from the corner of his lips. “it was cute.”

the younger frowned as he chewed, waiting before replying with a sour, “you think everything i do is cute.”

seokjin grinned. “you’re like a cat. don’t really like cats but you’re starting to make me change my mind.”

 yoongi scoffed, burrowing into the blankets more and in turn cuddling into ~~his boyfriend the guy he likes his future husband possibly his soulmate~~ his _friend_. he marvelled at the way their bodies fit together, feeling comfortable despite being in the back of jin’s car. he stared at the moon from the sunroof and opened his mouth absentmindedly when he felt jin nudge it. he frowned. “i don’t like the mulan sauce,” he protested.

jin kissed the corner of his mouth. “sorry, the containers are all mixed up now.” the younger hummed, reaching to cup seokjin’s face and running his fingertips on his jaw and chin.

”i feel stubble.”

”sorry.”

”it’s sexy.”

they both laughed and jin bucked his forehead against yoongi’s. “shush. and trust me, i don’t have the face for facial hair.” he wanted to continue, crack a joke maybe, but he couldn’t breathe when he saw the way yoongi’s pretty eyelashes fluttered as the younger let out a shaky breath. they were close enough that jin could see small, faded acne scars and his pores, close enough to witness the moment yoongi’s pupils dilated. they were close enough to each other that yoongi could actually see some capillaries in the dark bruises forming under seokjin’s eyes, no doubt a result of midterms piling up. 

“why don’t you kiss me?” yoongi asked after a few seconds of eye contact that had honestly felt like minutes. or maybe it had been minutes. time never ran as usual when he was with seokjin. 

“i didn’t think you’d want me to.”

”i want you to.”

”can i, then?”

”mh-hm.”

but neither of them inched any closer. instead, jin took a deep breath and yoongi looked down. “blondie, what is it that you want? you can’t tell me you want me to kiss you when you won’t accept to be my boyfriend. kissing you, doing things with you right now, it would make you my friend with benefits, my fuck buddy. i don’t want that.”

”seokjin, i just... i’m a little scared. that’s it. i want to be your boyfriend, i really do. but i’m not sure i’ll end up being good enough for you.” 

jin grabbed his face with both hands, peering into his eyes. “i’m going to ask you one more time, blondie. will you be my boyfriend?”

”i... not yet. give me time. if you really want me, please give me time.”

jin ignored the stinging sending radiating pain from his heart to the tips of his fingers, forcing himself to smile. he nodded and released yoongi’s face. “of course. take your time. i’m sorry.” he tried to be understanding, but this was the third time he asked. he could only take rejection _so_ much. he took his phone and scrolled through his social media, trying to distract himself from the uncomfortable squeezing in his thorax. 

“j-jin... don’t ignore me.”

”not ignoring you, shortie. i’m right here.”

”i’m sorry.”

”please don’t be. you did nothing wrong.”

”i—.” seokjin sighed, putting his phone down and moving the chicken nuggets and cardboard cup holder to the front seats, pulling yoongi into him and fixing their position so they were almost lying down. 

“sleep, shortie. and i’ll take a nap too.”

”sing me to sleep? i love your voice.”

jin sighed. he couldn’t believe he was parked next to the coast, sharing a blanket with a guy that made him happy as well as hurt. he couldn’t believe he was procrastinating on his studies to cuddle in the backseat of his sedan. he couldn’t believe he was fine with all this. it was then in this moment that he realised something that felt like a slap to the face.

there was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do for him.

“any requests?” 


	15. free trial except you pay the full thing with your heart, not cash

he couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that they could all be against him. it was like having two sets of parents who just decided to team up and make him want to backflip off the golden gate bridge. he buttoned up his shirt while his mum and dad giggled and joked about all this, as if yoongi in his Full Panic Mode™ were the most amusing thing. 

“honey, should he tuck it in or leave it?”

”he can tuck it in when he brings the boy to our house,” his mother quipped, “nammy and jimi don’t hold the same status as us.”

”true.”

”can you guys, i don’t know, not be so chill with this?” yoongi wailed, throwing his hands up in a mixture of exasperation and betrayal. but his mother pouted. 

“i thought you liked us for being ‘chill’. who can understand youth nowadays?”

he sat down in front of his laptop again, angling the device so he could better focus on them. “listen, i’m very, very nervous. okay? okay. we haven’t really hung out or talked the same way since a few nights ago and if anything, _anything_ , gets worse because of either you guys or the two assholes downstairs, i’m never going to forgive you. i. like. him—.”

but his dad cut him off with a simple but effective raise of his palm. “don’t lecture us on things we already know. we should be the ones lecturing you. if you like him so much why don’t you just date him already?”

”it’s been over a year since you and that other boy, who i never really liked,” she reminded as always, “broke up, honey. it’s time to move on completely. and you already have! you just keep hesitating!”

yoongi sighed. “it’s... it’s not hesitation... think about it this way: it’s a free trial. i’m just testing the product, or our relationship, before i take any long lasting risks. that’s it.”

”you’re probably hurting the boy’s feelings, darling.”

thinking about the night they cuddled in his backseat made his head hurt. he _knew_ he had hurt his feelings. he felt the way the older had recoiled against the seat. he saw the change in his gaze and heard the change in his breathing—from slightly excited to forced and controlled. and yet he sang him to sleep, or at least had the intention to do so since seokjin had fallen asleep first, and had clutched onto yoongi like his life depended on it, even while completely dozed off. and then, when they woke up, he began to keep his distance. 

 _“i won’t force myself on you as much as i can,”_ seokjin had said. but it was the lack of his warmth that had been wearing both of them down these past few days. talks became short and awkward, hang outs together became uncomfortable and brief. and he so desperately missed touching his face or playing with his hand while they talked, but seokjin always made sure to stop him from doing so. 

“i really do hate myself,” seokjin grumbled as he messed with his hair, completely dissatisfied with the way it just flopped back down to its original position. he had to get a haircut urgently. he took his keys and exited the car, walking to the building and taking the elevator to the fifth floor. he was so stupidly nervous to meet his best friends, it was ridiculous. but it was justified. jin and yoongi kept their personal lives sort of isolated from their own little bubble. meeting the people he came home to every day, in the space he called home, it was kind of a big fucking deal. he briefly wondered if yoongi was as nervous as he was, knocking on the door.

”oh, god, i’m so nervous! fuck!” yoongi hissed under his breath, staring at the door. “it’s happening. fuck.”

”we can open the door for you,” namjoon suggested, inching forward a little bit. but yoongi shook his head, gripping the handle and closing his eyes tightly before opening the door. 

“a-are you okay? why’re your eyes closed?” 

yoongi opened his eyes, letting out a very soft gasp that didn’t go unheard. he stammered but couldn’t come up with anything to say, so he just ducked his chin and moved aside to let him in. “hi,” he mumbled a few seconds later, but it was drowned out by jimin’s screech.

”jinnie?! oh, my god! i’ve missed you! you fell off the face of the earth and never talked to me again! how are you?! let me get you something to drink! i can’t believe...!” his voice drifted off and away to the kitchen, leaving everyone stunned. jin was the first to crack the silence, laughing. 

“i’ve missed you, too!” he called out. 

he turned to namjoon then, jaw clenching slightly as he offered him a smile. namjoon nodded, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. “long time no chat, jin.” 

seokjin hummed in return. “yes, well, it happens. college tends to make and break friendships as it pleases. so, it did work out with jimin in the end.”

namjoon’s smile flickered into view slowly until he grinned, looking down sheepishly. “he’s great.”

jin felt himself relax, seeing how plain and honest namjoon seemed to be about jimin. “i’m very glad. he deserves nothing short of the best.”

now yoongi was confused. they knew each other already? they spoke to each other so familiarly? how? when? 

“what?” was all yoongi could say. namjoon looked away from jin and halted the short conversation. 

“oh, yoongi. this is the friend i told you about. the one with the windshield wiper laugh. he’s the one that helped me get that one internship and ultimately my job. thanks again, by the way,” namjoon added, turning to jin. 

seokjin shrugged with a small smile. “it was nothing, and you most definitely deserved it.”

jimin came back with a glass of fucking chardonnay, sliding into conversation smoothly while yoongi stared at three of the most important human beings in his life. they were so sickeningly familiar with each other, and he couldn’t quite grasp it. ever since he had met seokjin, he had stopped feeling like a third wheel, but the feeling of not lonely but alone crept back into him, its tendrils squeezing around his heart. it really wasn’t fair. 

and the sad thing was, yoongi couldn’t claim him. he couldn’t slither a hand around his waist, or kiss him so his attention was back on him. he couldn’t do anything but stare longingly and hopelessly at the way jimin clutched to him and the way namjoon showed him his dimpled smile. 

because yoongi was stupid, he realised. he had pridefully barked about how winning or losing didn’t matter, that it was the risk that made it all count. and yet he was here, enduring this self-imposed free trial rather than taking the risk and just accepting being his boyfriend. too afraid to lose, depriving himself from the possible win. 

the very thing he so stupidly preached against.


	16. just kiss me for fuck’s sake

the heavy weight in his chest due to his nervousness and the bitter taste on his tongue from finding out namjoon was yoongi’s best friend, finally disappeared. jin wasn’t one to hold grudges, so the one against namjoon was both rare and stupid. nothing had happened between them. jin had been the one to push things in the direction of how they were now, so he was eternally grateful for the things that had happened, hadn’t happened, and were either done or prevented from being done. 

jimin looked so blissful, he seemed to glow, and he had put on some positive weight. 

namjoon seemed to lose himself in jimin’s eyes ever so often. it made jin feel calm. it was a for sure sign he wasn’t using jimin. 

now if only his blondie would perk up, that would be great. 

but the short boy ate away in silence after scooting his chair a couple inches away from seokjin. 

“jinnie was the one who taught me how to cook! and sew! and everything! i’m basically husband material because of him! yoongi, you’re so lucky to be with someone like jin! he’s a total prince charming but mixed with the hard working cinderella! you have a whole ass hannah montana, as in the best of both worlds! namjoon’s far too clumsy and terrible at cooking for me to trust him with anything—.”

”babe, i’m right here—.”

”—but both you and jinnie have your shit together! a total power couple!”

”thank you,” seokjin replied to jimin’s rant, smiling, “i think so, too.” 

“we are _not_ together!” yoongi exclaimed, throwing his fork to his plate and rising from his seat, stalking up the stairs. jin didn’t hesitate to follow him to the second floor, reaching out to him before he could slip into his room. he pinned him against the door softly, not really applying force so that yoongi could slip out without effort. the younger didn’t even fight it. he just sagged against the wood, looking away. 

“what was that? hmm? sweetheart, look at me.” jin hooked a finger under his chin and held him there until yoongi sighed.

”i’m sorry. i panicked.”

”why?”

”because you know them so well! a-and you seemed to be enjoying their company more than mine! and—.”

jin sighed, shaking his head. “you silly thing. you shouldn’t think like that. they’re your best friends, not your competition.” 

“you seem to like them a lot.”

”not as much as i lo-like you, yoongi.” he sighed, shaking his head at the poor save and continuing in hopes to keep his pride. “i don’t want to force this on you, please know that isn’t my intention as i say this but, yoongi, this wouldn’t be hurting you so much if you would just be mine. you wouldn’t have to be paranoid then. because i’d be yours, too. hell, i’m already yours. you’re just complicating things for yourself.”

”i really am so stupid. and a coward. jin... is it too late to say yes?” 

“of course not,” he breathed, “god, no. not too late. just in time. i... fuck.” 

“okay. so... are we... like official now?”

”yes, yoongi. it’s official. it’s—.” he broke off, mesmerised by the wide grin yoongi was beaming at him. it was a one of a kind, thousand kilowatt smile that he would and could and will never trade for anything else. he felt himself return it as his whole body unwound. stress he didn’t realise had been accumulating disappeared, just by looking at him. “let’s go back down, we didn’t finish eating.” 

yoongi shook his head, blushing. “i made an ass of myself. i’d much rather not. 

“then what do we do for the rest of the night?”

”i dunno. cuddle?”

cuddle they did, pressing and tangling their bodies together until they were as close as they could get, whispering to each other.

”no, you’re more handsome.”

”i beg to fucking differ, blondie.”

”well we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree.”

”hmm, do we now? what if i don’t want to? what are you gonna do?”

”is that a challenge?”

”a simple question.”

”then i’ll make you regret it.”

”is that a threat?” 

“a simple promise.”

”hmm... promise me something else instead.”

 yoongi grew serious as he detected the change in jin’s tone. “w-what is it?”

”promise me you won’t change your mind and dump me tomorrow? i’m so fucking lost in you that i don’t know what i’d do.” 

“i promise,” yoongi murmured, looking down at his chest. “but you promise, too, please.”

”i swear.”

yoongi’s heart beat ridiculously hard against seokjin’s chest as he looked up and took in dilated pupils, pink cheeks, and soft lips. his gaze lingered there as he bit his own lip. it was fine to kiss him, right? they were together. they could just do it. it would be so easy to lean in those two centimetres, close his eyes, and feel him against him again, and again, and again. he missed his lips against his own, missed his hands tugging him in, missed his laboured breathing. 

“just kiss me, yoongi. boy, do you love to overthink.”

”not as much as i love you,” he murmured, pressing his lips against the older’s.

seokjin was stunned at what he had just heard, heart having a boxing match with his sternum as yoongi’s peachy lips melted against his own. it was a million cries of victory instead of normal heartbeats that echoed in his ears as he replayed that little sentence over and over. the kiss was soft, mostly because jin hadn’t been functioning for the first seconds, but now that he was, he rolled over so that yoongi was on top of him, making eye contact before he pulled him in by the hair and kissed him again. he drank in yoongi’s small gasps and the way his hands held on to his face and shoulder. he felt more than heard his small moan as jin tugged at his lip. yoongi pulled back and sat straight, gripping jin’s hips as he rolled his own against him. jin threw his head back and barely contained his string of curses, gasping.

they were rudely interrupted by a harshly loud knock on the door. 

“can y’all fuck later?” namjoon called. “jimin worked hard on dinner.”

 yoongi groaned, catching his breath. “nam, i absolutely hate you!” but he heard footsteps stomp down the stairs. jin reached to caress yoongi’s face, smiling. “w-what?”

”me, too.”

”y-you too what?” he asked, biting his lip.

”i love you, too.” he grinned when he said that out loud. “really wanted to tell you a little more into our relationship cos i thought it was too soon but you said it first, so... here we are.” 

yoongi stared at him in shock before he grew totally mortified. 

“did i say that?”

”yes, yoongi. you did.”

”well, fuck.” 


	17. AU in which i’m still your boyfriend but i’m not stupid??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> transitional/filler chapter sorry

the impossible happened. 

yoongi was even more quiet than before. 

seokjin pulled him in close to him but yoongi sighed, lowering the camera from his face. “seokjin, i’m busy.” 

“blondie, you made me get out of my lecture early to come with you,” seokjin bit off, letting him go to turn him around. “i came to spend time with you. don’t tell me you’re busy.”

 yoongi repositioned his camera in front of his face, snapping a shot of his boyfriend with a small smile. “i know. and i told you to come for a reason. i’m just busy getting my thoughts together.”

”about?”

”about what happened last week, seokjin.”

”nothing happened. it’s okay.”

”i’m just a little stupid around you.” but yoongi said it with a smile, rocking back and forth on his feet. jin didn’t understand why his boyfriend was insulting himself and smiling about it but he was glad to see him a little more relaxed. “i just freaked out. again,” he continued, grimacing a little. “i shouldn’t have jumped at you like that. i’ve been preaching about taking our time and i just got on top of you out of nowhere.”

jin laughed a little, embracing him again. “well, to be fair, i threw you on top of me.” yoongi cuddled into him and seokjin nearly melted at the way yoongi’s cold hands circled around his neck. “you feel like bliss,” jin murmured, kissing his hair.

”i was going to say that exact same sentence, i hate you.” 

“you can still say it,” seokjin invited, swaying him left and right. 

yoongi hummed, caressing the taller boy’s nape. “jin, you feel like paradise. i’m sorry i pushed you away for a whole week. i’m just stupid when it comes to affection. i’ve had... a bad experience. you see—.”

but jin squeezed him, shushing him effectively.  “you can tell me about your ex another day. let’s focus on us, yes? and stop calling yourself stupid!”

”okay, okay!” he laughed against jin’s chest, shaking his head. “you like me like that, anyway, so it’s whatever.”

”because you’re not—.”

“fine, i’ll stop. but... can i just apologise for not letting you kiss me for a whole ass week?”

seokjin nodded, placing pecks on the younger’s hair. “longest six days of my life.”

they pulled away from each other, and jin took the camera from yoongi, taking a few photos of their surroundings as yoongi sat down on the grass. 

yoongi had strict rules about his photography. he checked them meticulously and deleted as many as needed. but since he started photographing jin, he hasn’t deleted a single one with him in it. blurred, dim, photobombed. it didn’t matter. yoongi had never felt the urge to hold on to memories of someone as much as he did with jin. where he had 800 photos of namjoon, his photos of jin were nearing 500, in the span of a little over a month. he was so in love it was ridiculous. 

yoongi had never believed in the stupid idea of love at first sight, but with jin out there breathing, it was kind of impossible not to. 

and jin liked him? 

it was stupid, all of this was stupid.

yoongi was stupid. 

stupid for falling for a god.

and said god took photos of yoongi as the younger drifted away wrapped in his thoughts. seokjin understood why yoongi had taken up this habit. yoongi looked ethereal right now and it would be an absolute sin to not photograph this moment. 

in their month dating-ish, and the days before that, just in that span of time, yoongi had become his shining star. 


	18. just count to three and everything will be alright (not really but we can hella try)

“we’ll just have to get help from the parental units,” namjoon sighed, looking at the table forlornly. all their bills for this month were spread on it, as well as their budgeting list and the tickets of all the things they had spent on last month. “my parents can hook us up with enough for three months.”

”we work, joon. we also get financial aid. we don’t need our fathers to be our sugar daddies, too. we just gotta cut down on unnecessary spending, the both of us. last month i bought myself new headphones i haven’t used, for example. and doing my hair was almost three hundred. we can budget this out! we’ve done it before!”

namjoon smiled at yoongi and nodded. “you’re right. we’ve struggled way more in the past. this is child’s play.”

yoongi beamed. “that’s the spirit! like, look, we bought all this junk food we honestly don’t eat, and end up ordering a lot of restaurant food. those two are pocket drainers and are only supposed to be done in case of an emergency. we’re buying our cereals generic brand now, and only until we’re all out. we have five cereals, joon. it’s only two of us. and all this other junk like, why do we have like five lava lamps randomly thrown throughout the living room? they don’t even match! joon, our main issue is buying things you and i both don’t need.”

but now namjoon was quiet. “i thought the lava lamps were cool.”

”yeah, the first one was. and then there’s four more now and they’re all different colours. it’s a disaster, joon.”

”jimin said they looked nice.”

yoongi saw the challenging look in his friends eyes and sighed. “jimin doesn’t live here.”

”yes he does!”

”show me in the lease where it says he’s registered, please. show me the bills he’s paid. show me all the groceries he’s bought with his own money. wait... jimin was the one who bought the lava lamps then?”

namjoon looked down at the table. “n-not necessarily. he, uh, suggested them when i went to go get a new portable speaker—.”

”nam, why in the hell do you need a new one? just borrow mine, for—!” yoongi sighed. “now that you mention it, all the junk in our fridge and pantry is shit jimin eats. we have both been wasting money on this tooth-rotting shit. he. doesn’t. live. here.”

”he’s our best friend—.”

”i’m starting to think that doesn’t matter anymore! at this rate he’s your boyfriend only! your freeloading boyfriend! always using his parents’ money to buy unnecessary shit and then using our money to buy even more! he doesn’t have a job, he’s majoring in psychology, nam! a heavily saturated field! fuck!”

namjoon stood up in a panic. “yoongi, please calm down! water! let’s get you some water—!”

the front door opened and in walked jimin with jin in tow, both boys staring at their boyfriends in confusion. yoongi’s jaw was clenched taut and his breathing was slow and careful, namjoon’s frantic hand gestures and worried eyes were frozen still. yoongi was the first to break out of it, snorting. “wow! thank you for bringing back my cat, seokjin! been wondering where that freeloading bastard had been, but i would have preferred it if—.”

”yoongi!” namjoon called out, hand slapping the surface of the table. “enough! you’re diving into deeper water now, so drop it before this grows into a problem!”

 yoongi stood up from his seat, nodding. “just remember, namjoon. back when you were in high school, when you got kicked out of your house for coming out, who went to get the lease for our first apartment? who paid a whole year of rent on his own? who struggled with bills on top of their parents’ lack of support and disapproval? me. it was all me. i worked my ass off, to the point i cried almost every night! just because i wanted to make sure my best friend wasn’t living in the streets because of who he wanted to stick his fucking dick into! what has jimin done for you? has jimin done that? has he tended to your wounds? has he paid off hospital debts? has he helped you reestablish your relationship with your parents? what has he done?”

”i’ve loved him, and very deeply,” jimin defended. but yoongi turned to look at him coldly, pointing a finger at him. 

“you. you don’t speak right now. _i’ve_ loved him. i’ve been there for him all this time. what did you do back then, huh? where were you when your precious boyfriend got kicked out? do you remember? because i do. you were at home, ignoring our texts, playing the brand new video game your daddy brought you.”  he snorted again, tipping his head back until he caught his breath again, then looking back at jimin. “have you always been like this, i wonder? have i loved you, too, just like nam does? blindly,” he turned to seokjin now, eyes still hard but trying to be reassuring, “i don’t actually have romantic feelings for him, it’s platonic, familial love.”

”just vent it out, babe.”

 yoongi turned back to jimin. “it’s all piling up now. i’m trying to look at anything you’ve done for us, but it’s all emotional support, at best. you’re always there for the good, jimin. never the bad. i’m so mad at you that i can’t even move from this spot. why am i realising all of this just now? the cherry on top would be if you were the one responsible for my breakup with....” he grew quiet when jimin bit  his lip and looked down. “no.”

jimin stammered, face growing a deeper and deeper scarlet. “i-i had a crush on him for years and he-he was just so convincing... b-but i was falling for you, namjoon!” he tried, turning to his boyfriend, “so i dropped it before anything between you and i happened! i never hurt you and i would never! we made a vow when we were all younger!”

seokjin felt so lost. he wanted to leave because it was obvious this was some family shit right here, but he wanted to stay for his boyfriend, but he knew his boyfriend would just run up the stairs and turn into an armadillo and not speak until he saw fit, but he knew that wasn’t a good solution and wanted to help. but exactly at what angle would he even approach this? he focused back on the fight when namjoon sat down again, shoulders slumping. 

“that vow was a three way one, jimin. yoongi was included. hell, yoongi made the vow! he brought us together! without him we would have never met, and we would’ve never met hoseok and taehyung, either. listen, i... never mind, i don’t even know what to say, we were just talking about bills a few seconds ago, why is this happening right now?” 

“i-i guess it had to.” yoongi let himself fall to the floor, crossing his legs. “i can’t even look at you both right now. seokjin, i-i’m sorry you had to witness all this. didn’t want you to.” 

seokjin finally moved and pushed past jimin, sinking down to the floor along with his boyfriend. “get your tiny self in here,” he cooed, spreading his arms open. yoongi didn’t care his other friends were there as he slowly sat on his boyfriend’s lap, sighing. “tired?”

”very much so.”

”figured. i’ve never seen you speak so much.” yoongi scoffed, but laughed a little. 

“i used to be a chatterbox.” 

seokjin hummed as he rubbed soothing circles on yoongi’s back. “hmm, would have loved to see that. is this a bad time to tell you that you look hot when you’re angry?” yoongi chuckled lightly and replied against jin’s chest, both of them laughing softly. namjoon stared curiously at the way they both came together as one and shared their emotions until they were both on the same page again. it was a weird concept to him. one he had tried in the beginning but had learnt to let go of very soon into his relationship with jimin. he figured it was just good on easygoing people and jimin was a little harder to handle than he imagined, but yoongi turned to clay in seokjin’s hands, and seokjin sculpted him back to the way he was. he didn’t change anything about him, just accepted, embraced, and soothed. 

jimin’s tear stricken cheeks were still bright red when namjoon walked to him and carried him up the stairs. “you and i need to talk, and this time you’re listening and we’re keeping our clothes on.” 

jimin was more than glad that he hadn’t been kicked down the stairs all the way to the lobby, clinging onto his boyfriend like a life line.

and seokjin?

he went to nirvana every time he heard yoongi laugh. 

he made a vow of his own. he vowed to always make yoongi happy. 

through good and through bad. 

a little too early to propose to him, he supposed, but his heart was already sold.


	19. the BFF Committee™

seokjin found out something peculiar about yoongi and his little cluster of friends. whenever they had a problem, they would all get together to discuss it and work through it. all of them. it was honestly so weird to him. whenever seokjin’s friends had fights, only the involved would handle it and everyone else would just... wait for them to handle it. which is why he was so confused as to why they all had to gather around yoongi’s living room today—including him.

he put his cigarette out and blew a smoky sigh. 

ezra, for once, wasn’t buried in a textbook, so he had already been paying attention to his friend’s shifting facial expressions. “dude? everything okay? you’re not about to change your major, right? you’ll do well on the finals.”

jin sighed and turned to his best friend. “it’s just yoongi. he got into an argument with his best friends yesterday, and he’s been upset. i don’t know exactly how to feel, because it’s not my issue. but i don’t know how to help, either.”

jonathan tuned into the conversation, crossing his arms. “help him? you don’t need to deal with that shit. just be there for him.” 

seokjin frowned. “well, i wish, but they expect me to be there as an ‘outsider opinion’ and i can’t get out of it.”

ezra snorted, crossing his arms. “what? is this some sort of Gay Council or something? do they all just dress in black robes surrounded by candles and chant their problems away?” seokjin began to protest but ezra continued. “fine. so be it. they can hold their little meeting. but i’m going with you.”

jonathan huffed. “i wanna join. not fair ezra is the only one to go see a cult in action.” 

“it’s not a cult—.” seokjin tried. he was cut off by two other friends joining. he didn’t even know the fuckers were paying attention. jin shot a quick, apologetic text to his boyfriend, shoulders slumping. 

 **me** : blondie i’m so sorry but do you have room for four more? my friends are convinced you guys fix problems around a pentagram dressed in cloaks. 

 **baby** ❤️: oh god

 **baby** ❤️: yea ig bring them idec anymore i just wanna get it over with

seokjin was sincerely hoping for a no.

 

 

jin had told them to not even move their cars and bikes out of campus, since his boyfriend lived across the street. they stared at the building in awe. 

“yo, this shit is expensive. how do they manage to live here?”

jin sighed. “that’s... one of the problems.”

”yikes.”

the group had brought food and drinks with them, to compensate with the whole butting into their business deal, but now that they were here, in one of the priciest buildings near campus, they were regretting their decision. once jin knocked on the door, they realised it was too damn late to back out. this was obviously karma for not minding their business. a tall man with tanned skin and a dimpled smile welcomed jin, smile slightly dropping when he greeted the rest of the group, allowing them inside.

much to the group’s disappointment, everyone was dressed too casually. 

jin’s boyfriend was literally in a t-shirt that had been cut into a sleeveless crop top and soccer pants. everyone else seemed to be in pyjamas or gym clothes. 

ezra began to greet everyone first, starting with yoongi. everyone else followed. 

jin watched the way yoongi relaxed, as if seeing his group of friends were lifting a weight off his shoulders. jin quietly greeted hoseok and his chipper boyfriend before sitting down. the coffee table, now covered in different foods and drinks provided by both groups, separated the clusters of friends. 

it was shirts versus jackets. 

“so,” namjoon began. “be-because this is rather unconventional, let’s just introduce ourselves. i’m namjoon, the spokesperson of the group usually.”

jimin curled into the chair he had dragged down from the dining room. “i’m jimin. nam’s boyfriend.” 

“yoongi.”

”i’m taehyung and i’ve no idea why we have a biker gang in my baby brother’s living room.”

”i’m hoseok. tae’s fiancé.”

taehyung smacked him. “you wish!”

seokjin shook his head. “jin.”

”i’m ezra. bio major.”

jonathan rolled his eyes. “is this kindergarten all over again?” ezra yanked him by the hair. “ow, ow, ow! hi! i’m jonathan! ezra let go, let go!” the two bickered under their breath, glaring at each other. jimin stared at the super tall, super tan, super intimidating dude in the back. 

“i’m kia. the usual peacemaker of the group.”

jimin frowned. of course he was the peacemaker. he was huge, no one would dare even go against him. 

“i’m hanseol. engineering student. dead inside.”

a few seconds of silence later, namjoon nodded, clapping his hands together once. “great. well. let’s begin. since jin’s team wasn’t here, they’ll just be judges and give us their perspective on things. and i’m going to start giving some background. basically, yoongi and i have been best friends since childhood and living together for a long time. we’re inseparable. he’s helped me through so much and it’ll take two lifetimes to fully repay him. jimin is also our best friend, and he and i started dating a year-ish ago. taehyung and hoseok are more recent, but our friends nonetheless. we’re very close, and what contributed to that closeness is our method of fixing problems. but... we’ve never had a problem like this one.

”to make this story shorter, yoongi had been dating someone pretty seriously, and jimin, who wasn’t my boyfriend at the time, had been majorly crushing on yoongi’s boyfriend, since before those two even dated. so, yoongi’s ex and jimin had... an affair of sorts.”

”to make things even shorter for you all, my best friend is a piece of shit.”

namjoon took a deep breath and nodded. “i guess you’re right. anyway. this isn’t what kicked off the problem, but it’s our biggest concern.”

”no,” yoongi interrupted. “the biggest concern here is that not only does this midget not give a shit about our friendship, he’s also a fucking freeloader. namjoon works twelve hour shifts as a CNA, okay? and goes to school. i have two jobs or sorts, as well, and i go to school full time. jimin is a freshman, with only two classes, and one of them is an elective. he doesn’t work. he lives off his parents’ money and financial aid—and he lives off us, too. he’s the one who’s here most of the time. he basically lives here, but for free. doesn’t help us with rent or groceries or bills. spends namjoon’s money. raids our fridge and pantry.

“and!” yoongi continued, face red with rage. “and, whenever i do come home to _my_  flat, he’s going at it with namjoon, and loudly! the entire building knows jimin’s kinks at this point! it’s getting to be too much! we turned in rent yesterday, but we still have all our bills and groceries to shop for and everything else. he hasn’t made a conscious effort to help at all. instead, you know what he was doing? planning a road trip! incredible.”

hoseok stretched with a groan. “that’s not all,” he began, “but jimin constantly treats yoongi like he’s some breakable porcelain doll and doesn’t let him breathe. i understand now that it’s most likely guilt for sleeping with that guy and all, but my poor baby boy was asphyxiating.”

“funny thing is, he’s been so overbearing but he’s never actually helped, either,” taehyung added. “he acts like a few honeyed words cover bullet wounds. i love jimin to death, but i love yoongi as well. and this has to stop.”

”can i talk for myself?” jimin tried.

”go ahead,” yoongi grumbled.

”it’s not fair i’m being painted as the bad guy for caring about yoongi. i care about all of you equally. and the reason i’ve been staying so much here is because my parents think i’m dorming on campus but i procrastinated and missed the deadline and i didn’t want them to be upset at me. i do realise i’ve been overbearing and try to stay at my parents or at another friend’s place to not be so much of an inconvenience. and for the money thing, i didn’t know they were struggling financially. both of them have decent jobs and i haven’t been able to find any employment. and i figured i was already paying my rent by cooking and cleaning. i’m sorry that wasn’t enough for you.”

the room fell into silence again, until kia spoke. his deep voice made everyone except ezra and jin jump. “well, decent job or not, let’s take a couple of seconds to bring awareness to how much these two spend on this place. i wanted to live here, initially. but you know how much rent here costs for a two bedroom? $2,500. that’s too much for my sorry ass.”

”utilities aren’t cheap either,” ezra butted in. “six to nine hundred for water and power, and up to eighty for gas.”

“petrol is expensive right now, almost $3.50,” jonathan interjected.

”if we’re talking cars, car insurance is around $300 per vehicle.”

”groceries... about two, three hundred monthly? add takeout and on-campus dining to that. make it... five hundred. school supplies like scantrons, testing booklets, printing services, math and science lab computer key codes...”

”semester parking pass, if applicable. library late fees. tutoring fees. emergency expenses like a trip to the emergency room or something...” 

“i ain’t saying he a gold digger,” hanseol began, but was shut down by kia effectively. “sorry.”

”are we ignoring the fact that he gets money from his parents and he gets fafsa, but somehow can’t contribute?”

”are we ignoring the fact that he betrayed his supposed best friend by sleeping with his boyfriend?”

hoseok sighed. “he betrayed all of us. we have an oath.”

namjoon cleared his throat. “well, i’ve reached my verdict and jimin knows what i think. what about the judges? what should it be?”

jin looked at his friends in a moment of silence, glancing among each other, as if communicating telepathically. from their expressions, it was obvious what they thought the best solution would be. jin allowed kia to speak for his group once everyone silently agreed. 

“well, i know we’ve known each other for three minutes, but we were granted the power to partake in the BFF Council, so we have made a decision. jimin, sorry, but you need to come clean to your parents about the dorm situation. i’m sure they’ll understand. the best thing to do is let yoongi have some space, have his home to himself. what you also need to do is talk it out with him about the whole cheating thing. not now, but make sure you do. i don’t know about you and your boyfriend, jimin, but we, as yoongi’s friends, too, think it’s best if you put some distance between you for a while. don’t end the friendship, just let each other breathe.”

”i agree with maui from moana,” hoseok chirped. “and namjoonie, i know he’s your baby, but please don’t sneak him in. you all need a break. we all do.” 

jimin blinked away his tears, jaw set. the atmosphere grew thicker and thicker until he lowly excused himself and went upstairs. 

“so!” taehyung exclaimed. “were all here! mostly queer, and have plenty of food and beer! y’all up for a few rounds of capcom versus marvel?” 

yoongi and seokjin stared at each other from across the living room. 

not every problem has an easy solution.


	20. [NOT CLICKBAIT] TRIED PHONE SEX AND FAILED MISERABLY??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> need to point out, it’s smutty but stick thru it cos i CRIED

the house was morbidly quiet. 

it was namjoon’s day off, but he had gone to fill in for a callout. jimin left with his things this morning. the taeseok duo were off celebrating their six monthaversary. his boyfriend had been busy with his family all day. 

it was his birthday after all. 

yoongi had been fantasising about spending today with jin since ezra mentioned to him that his birthday was coming up, but he hadn’t taken into account the fact that seokjin had family to go home to. family that expected him to spend the day with them. 

so yoongi, even when namjoon was still here, holed himself up in his room, edited his camera roll, worked on a few beats, wrote three songs, and ate the accidental potato soup he had made earlier (he just wanted loaded mashed potatoes, but the universe worked in mysterious ways). 

he took a shower, brushed his teeth, and slid into the lycra shorts jimin had bought him as a joke and an oversized jersey, throwing himself on the bed two hours after namjoon had gone to work. it was currently eight, and he was very much awake. what could he do? he didn’t have work right now, he had exhausted his creativity for the day, and he didn’t want to go downstairs to play video games alone. 

it was just one of those days. 

he missed his boyfriend terribly, and was bummed he couldn’t spend the day with him, but he promised to spoil and pamper him all day tomorrow. jin had told him tomorrow could be december three again if that made him happy. his boyfriend always knew what yoongi wanted. he was incredible. he turned some music on, sinking deeper into his mattress, curling up into himself with his hands tucked between his thighs. they wouldn’t be so cold right now if jin were here. 

then again it was december now. maybe he was cold because he was fresh out of the shower, wearing shorts, exposed to the slightly chilled air of his room. 

didn't matter. he still wanted him here.

despite not being tired, his eyes began to close, relaxing with the music. it felt selfish to say, but despite the loneliness, it felt good to have his house to his own. still, he wanted jin to stop being busy. 

three hours of yoongi drifting off and waking up again later, his phone loudly pinged with a text. yoongi sat up abruptly, smiling at the screen. 

 **prince charming** : you awake? parents wouldnt let me touch my phone .-. missed you all day

yoongi replied as fast as he could. 

 **me** : asdfghjkl u should’ve snuck one in /: /: gone to the toilet or sth i missed u /: /: /: 

 **prince charming** : lol not that easy im not even home im still at my parents place haha they said it’s too late for me to drive especially since i drank a lil

 **me** : you’re an adult damn it >-<

 **prince charming** : to parents, were always their babies, especially on birthdays lol you should’ve seen my mum she actually cried. 

 **me** : haven’t seen my parents in a cool min.

 **me** : i should prob do that 

 **prince charming** : ya ok but for meanwhile MISS ME ;-; 

 **me** : i haaaaveee all dayyyyy :(((((

 **prince charming** : liar o; 

 **me** : no not lying what do i gotta do to prove it???? 

 **prince charming** : send me a selfie i miss your dumb face /: 

 **me** : how bout you sneak out and see my face in person :<

 **prince charming** : not that easy babe

 **prince charming** : well i can but my parents will be upset/: i see them only five times a year i owe them this much 

 **me** : college sucks™ 

 **prince charming** : it does babe but i met you so who am i to complain? 

 **me** : haha true 

 **prince charming** : i do miss you so much

 **prince charming** : been thinking about you too much today

 **prince charming:** been kinda hard to keep my thoughts together 

 **prince charming** : my parents and siblings already know about you btw it was accidental i had spaced out and when they snapped me back in i said your name and well haha they’re good at extracting information 

yoongi felt heat rise to his face.

 **me** : my parents have known bout u for a while lol sorry 

 **prince charming** : don’t be

 **prince charming** : baby

 **prince charming:** we don’t hang out alone as much as i’d like to

 **me** : wym we hang out alone plenty

 **prince charming:** i mean not in public areas 

 **prince charming** : not to sound like a thirsty bitch but

 **prince charming** : i’m a thirsty bitch

 **me** : o

 **me** : sorry 

 **me** : it just still makes me nervous ykno 

 **me** : bt don’t think i don’t wanna ok i really do

 **prince charming** : you just 

 **prince charming:** fuck you have no idea how sexy you are??? i’m not okay?? yesterday you were wearing another crop top and those pants you had on made your ass look great not gonna lie i’m trying not to be thirsty but sir you make it so hard and i’m talking quite literally like how do i keep my hands to myself? 

 **me** : then don’t 

 **me** : don’t keep ur hands to urself

 **me** : touch me all you want

 **prince charming** : ugh

 **prince charming** : fuck baby don’t say things like that

yoongi felt heat rush to his cheeks. he could picture jin’s face so close to his, words barely above a whisper. he wiggled around a little, biting his lip. should he push it?

 **me** : not stopping. want your hands on me

 **me** : touch every inch of my skin

yoongi cringed, regretting the words he sent but feeling a thrill nonetheless. was this what the kids called sexting?

 **prince charming:** can i call you? need to hear your voice

yoongi ignored his heart racing and called him first. “hi,” he breathed, voice shaking embarrassingly. 

he heard jin groan and shivered. “when i get back tomorrow, you’re in so much trouble. fuck,” he broke off. yoongi bit his lip during the short silence. hearing jin’s voice like this, through the phone, was just so weird to him. yes, they had talked on the phone plenty, but the urgency, the need in jin’s tone made yoongi’s face turn a deeper shade of scarlet. 

“what are you going to do to me?” yoongi challenged breathily, licking his lower lip. 

“what am i not doing? that’s the question. what do you want me to do?”

 yoongi shook his head despite jin not being able to see. “no. you tell me. what are you doing to me? what do you want to do to me?”

fabric rustling, bed shifting, jin replied just above a hiss. “i’m making you mine. i’m going to touch every single inch of your skin. i’m going to tease you until you’re begging for more. gonna fuck your brains out.” 

simple sentences, but delivered effectively. yoongi squirmed, a little moan breaking through his lips. “r-really now?”

jin’s deep, short bark of laughter made yoongi jump. “can’t keep quiet? we haven’t done anything. guessing you’re the loud type.”

”i can be as quiet or loud as you want me to be,” yoongi replied, scrunching his eyes shut. 

“when we get the chance to be completely alone, baby i want you to let loose and not hold back.”

” ‘get as wild as you can take me,” the younger said, his free hand carding through his hair frustratingly. “make me reach my limit and take me up another level.” yoongi shuddered at the muffled groan coming from the other end of the line, his own breathing growing more laboured in a mixture of arousal and plain embarrassment. he couldn’t believe he was doing this, but he was intrigued as well. he had never talked to someone on the phone like this.

“i’ll make it so the only thing that centres you is me. make you feel so good, baby.”

 yoongi felt his hips involuntarily roll. “shit,” he hissed. “way to turn me on.”

”well, it can’t be just me, baby. just thinking about you. fuck, i’m so fucking—.”

his free hand wouldn’t let go of his hair, yoongi too afraid to touch anywhere else. it would indicate he absolutely one hundred percent lost it. but there was something so enticing about hearing jin’s arousal, despite not being there with him. he wanted yoongi desperately and it sent a thrill through him. “thinking about me? ride you nice and slow ‘til you lose it and flip me over. want you to fucking pound me into the bed.”

a feathery laugh met yoongi’s ears, jin replying, “i’m lowkey jacking off. i’ll let you ride me, tease you. fuck, that cute little ass of yours...” he drifted off and yoongi licked his dry lips, shaking his head. this wasn’t enough. he couldn’t believe he was releasing his hair from its tight hold and allowing his hand to travel down to the hem of his shorts. “gonna leave my marks on it. on all of you. if you want a pounding i’ll give you a fucking pounding, baby. make you scream my name. fuck what the neighbours say, fuck what anyone says. i’m gonna fuck you until the only thing you can do is beg me to never stop.”

shorts down to his knees, yoongi winced as he stroked himself with a cold hand. “won’t want you to stop,” he whined, “never want you to. you know exactly what you want and how i need it. fuck, seokjin, i need you so much,” he let out, voice going higher a couple octaves, getting increasingly louder. “i’ll let you do whatever you want. spank me to the point of bruises. fuck my throat. leave bite marks. i’ll say your name like a fucking prayer, seokjin. fuck.”

seokjin’s breathing was a little less laboured now, when yoongi was practically gasping for oxygen. “can’t stop thinking ‘bout those lips of yours. your entire body. fuck, you’re so beautiful, min. your ass is so soft. you drive me crazy. your body itself is art, baby. your dark eyebrows against pale skin, your soft peachy lips. that cute little nose of yours. i love how your hands are always cold. could feel them warm up the more you hold me. makes me feel whole. that smile of yours is to die for, baby.”

 yoongi stopped touching himself.

”o-oh,” was all he could manage.

”you’re my angel, a whole blessing. you’re so dangerous in the sense that every time i see you, i want more. not necessarily sexually. i want more of your smile, more of your laughter, more of your sleepy talk, more of your silly noises. want more of your funny hiccups, more of your hand gestures when you speak. i want more than the title of a boyfriend. i’m desperately hoping that, if soulmates turn out to be an actual thing, that you’d be stuck with me for all of eternity, because i want to be stuck with you.”

yoongi sniffed, completely soft now as tears rolled down his cheeks. “jinnie, i’m so lucky...”

“sweetheart, i’m the lucky one. you’ve no idea. i don’t know what i’d be without you anymore. can’t picture myself with anyone else, doing anything else. can’t imagine living without our late night conversations, our little dates, your beautiful laughter, your soft kisses. i know we agreed not to say it, but fuck it. i can’t imagine myself not loving you, yoongi.”

”jin... i...”

”you make me happy every single day, okay? even with the smallest of gestures. just knowing that you’re my boyfriend, and that you trust me and want me equally, that’s the biggest gift life could give me. i really hope i can make you feel this way. i hope you love me as deeply as i love you. i just want to cherish the gift you are, and make you feel as loved as you are.”

 yoongi wiped his tears with an airy chuckle. “oh, my god, jinnie. i’m crying so much but i can’t stop smiling.” 

seokjin laughed lightly through the other side of the line. “i’m sorry, baby. can you believe how quickly time has passed by? it’s been two months since we met, you know, formally. i’m so lucky to have someone as bright and stunning as you in my life.”

”and i’m so lucky, too. meeting you, getting to know you these couple months has been the best thing that could have possibly happened to me. you’ve... oh god, i won’t stop crying... you’ve made me realise a lot of things about myself.”

jin sighed, the sound travelling to yoongi’s ear like a soothing song. “i can say that, too, but... you’ve gone far and beyond that for me. i’ve learnt a lot about myself, yes, but i’ve learnt much more about love.” yoongi laughed, and jin huffed. “what are you laughing at?”

”i was deadset on the thought of humping my pillow just seconds ago. now i’m just awkwardly pulling my pants up.”

jin laughed, too, warmth spreading through yoongi at the sound. “as much as i want you, i’m glad this happened. just wish i would’ve told you in person.”

”i’m not a pretty crier,” yoongi protested, “so this is fine.”

”you’re the prettiest crier. you put models to shame. it’s late now, isn’t it? do you want to stay on the phone till we fall asleep?”

 yoongi nodded with a smile. “i’d love that.”

”tell me what you were up to today, baby.”

 yoongi grinned. “besides missing my prince charming, today was pretty uneventful.” 

 


	21. are matching christmas ties a sign of gay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i leave for korea in exactly one month, so i’m trying to finish this story as soon as i can so i don’t leave you lot with a cliffhanger (:

“baby, it’s been three days,” yoongi whined, tugging at the hem of his boyfriend’s jumper. jin looked down to him with a smirk. 

“love it when you call me baby,” he teased, turning back to the slice of cake. “and so what if it’s been three days? this cake is fucking delicious. and you made it for me. for my birthday. let me enjoy your hard work.” 

“there’re other things you can eat! healthier things!” jin hummed, dipping his finger into the frosting before booping his boyfriend’s nose. “seokjin! what the hell? wipe it off!”

”it’s your nose, lovely. you can wipe it off yourself.”

”it was your finger, _lovely_ , so you wipe it!” seokjin licked his finger until the frosting was gone and then crooked it, signalling yoongi to come closer. the younger obliged, sitting up and scooting closer to him— only to have his nose licked clean. jin pulled back with a wink and yoongi remained frozen, on his knees, face a deep vermilion. “what the fuck?” he hissed under his breath, refusing to look up at jin anymore. he shifted so that this time he would be sitting rather than sprawled face down on the floor, looking forward at the television. he had forgotten it was even on. 

“you’re right,” seokjin interrupted the awkward silence, leaning forward until he could place the plate on the coffee table. “it’s been three days. let’s talk.”

 yoongi looked up. this was even worse that getting his nose licked. “l-listen, seokjin... t-the phone call, a-and the mediocre sexting... i’m not usually like that.”

”no, i’m sure you’re not, honey. i know you’re kinkier.”

 yoongi scrambled to his feet. “okay! you know what? i’m starving! gonna cook! you can survive off cake but i can’t—! oof!” seokjin had dropped him onto his lap, hands gripping his hips. “oh,” was all yoongi managed.

”sweetheart, this isn’t about the phone sex. it’s about... what was said before and after. i really do—.”

the smaller rested his face in the crook of his neck, the offending smell of cigarette smoke mixing deliciously with his cologne. “yeah. i really do love you, too.” one of the hands on his hips travelled to his hair, massaging his scalp softly. “i’m sorry. for panicking every time you try to bring up anything about us. ‘m scared of opening up.”

”and with good reason,” jin crooned, holding him tighter against his chest. “so, what i’m about to ask you, if you don’t want to, i’ll more than understand. okay?”

blonde hair swayed with his nod when he pulled away. “what’re you gonna ask me?” 

“c-can...”

yoongi always loved seeing jin stammer. it was rare. the boy was ridiculously confident, so the rare little moments like this one... heaven. 

“may-maybe, perhaps, mayhaps... i mean, not saying it has to be now or whatever, but... c-can we, maybe... i-i’d like to celebrate christmas with you, yoongi.” the boyfriend in question snorted, then laughed. is this why jin had been so nervous? it was obvious his answer would be yes—. “b-but, with our parents. i, uh, think we... so maybe we are moving too fast, but why not? but it’s up to you!” yoongi had grown quiet at that. this wasn’t what he was expecting at all. 

it was his turn to panic. “w-well... my parents have been dying to meet you... b-but you know what this implies, right? you know once both parent sides collide, things will get more difficult. there are so many implications, baby. and i don’t know if you and i, as a couple, are ready for that.”

jin narrowed his eyes. “implications. elaborate.”

”i-i just think they’ll think we’re crazy. we’re immature for falling so easily. or-or, you know... they’ll probably think we’re not serious and they won’t take us serious. a-and there’s always the possibility of them jumping to the conclusion that we’re like, trying to jump into the marriage boat asap. and that can mean that we don’t have our priorities straight and we’re jeopardising our careers a-and—.” he sighed. “look, it might sound like a bunch of bullshit excuses—.”

”they are,” jin grumbled.

“right. anyway. sounds like bullshit, but they’re things that worry me. that being said... i’m...” yoongi bit his lip. “kinda flattered and excited that you want me to meet your parents. b-but—!” jin pulled him back into his embrace, earning a little burst of surprised laughter, edged with a bit of nervousness. 

“we have time. plenty of it. doesn’t have to be christmas. i’ll wait as long as you want me to.”

”i-it can be christmas... just... help me through it?”

seokjin pulled his face away from his neck and tilted his chin to him, a small smile playing on his lips. “we can mutually panic? is that good?”

”mhm, more than good.”

”can we wear matching clothes?”

yoongi laughed as he pressed his lips to his boyfriend’s cheek. “don’t be cheesy. okay, maybe.” the younger pecked his boyfriend’s face, lips pressing against every centimetre of skin until jin pulled him by the chin, lips coming together languidly, sweetly, until they unfortunately lost themselves again. cute moments rarely lasted since the day they talked on the phone, touches and hugs and kisses and mere looks charged with an electric current of sorts. jin’s hands were now back on yoongi’s hips and the younger let said hands move him against the older. it wasn’t until jin pulled at his lower lip and yoongi let out a needy mewl that the younger snapped back. “we should stop.”

jin obediently released the smaller from his hold immediately, nodding. “sorry, blondie. got carried away again.”

”i know. me, too. but nam’s struggling with jimin and i don’t want him to walk into us you know... going at it.”

 seokjin frowned, deep in thought before taking a deep breath. “i... i live alone.”

 yoongi nodded, but then froze, eyes wide. “y-you do,” he confirmed, hands gripping his shoulders a little too tight. 

“you can just... spend the night with me.”

it was so tempting. so, so tempting. a space guaranteed to only hold him and jin. no best friend to embarrassingly hear/witness something unspeakable. just him and the boy he loved and that’s it. 

he felt a tingle down his spine as he shifted on jin’s lap and saw the older’s gaze darken, zeroing in on his lips. “c-can i pack some stuff? like pyjamas and other things?”

”i’d prefer if you sleep naked, but yes. pack a toothbrush, too.” 

“d-do you sleep naked?”

jin smirked. “only on tuesdays.”

 yoongi stammered. “t-today’s tuesday—.”

”and you have two classes tomorrow, and one of them is a morning class. take your books and a spare change of clothes.” yoongi nodded and stood up, immediately missing his warmth. when he was almost at the staircase, jin called out to him. “i lied about the tuesday thing,” he said calmly, turning to his boyfriend with a smirk. “i sleep naked every d—.”

”i’ll be back!” yoongi shouted, sprinting up the stairs. he could hear jin’s laughter through his door. 

and he couldn’t help but smile in return. 


	22. daddy bomb legs™

seokjin felt so inadequate. 

he bounced his knee while sat on the sofa, biting at his lip. his own place was small. like, tiny. it was a single flat. no bedroom, just a space with a small walk-in closet, a bathroom, a kitchenette, and a balcony. still, the room was big enough that he had actually managed to get some furniture and make it a little more homey. 

he had a small flatscreen right next to the door, on the right side, and a mirror of the same size to the left side of the door. one sofa bed, a bookshelf, and a loveseat made up the living space. after that, a small round table with three chairs made up the dining room, which shared space with the kitchenette.

it was honestly more than enough. everything in his apartment was either from a yard sale or from his old home, except for the sofa bed. so, it was cheap and comfy. seokjin had never held any sort of doubt toward his thrifty living, but with his boyfriend changing into pyjamas in the bathroom, he suddenly wished he would’ve splurged in a one bedroom unit, at least. yoongi was used to space and sleek design and vibrant colours. he felt bad for even making the suggestion of coming here. 

part of him knew yoongi didn’t give a shit, but the other part just wanted to give yoongi the world. 

sadly, this flat wasn’t anywhere near that. 

“your bathroom smells like christmas,” yoongi murmured, exiting the bathroom shyly. he looked around and tightened his hold on his bag. “w-where do i put my bag?” 

jin couldn’t say anything, jaw refusing to even move. what the hell was his blondie wearing?

yoongi frowned at the other’s silence. “seokjin? m-my bag, where do i put... oh.” he followed jin’s gaze to his bare legs and felt himself blush. “w-well. i, i will just set it down here, okay? i... l-listen, seokjin, if you’re not comfortable i can just slide my other pants on—.”

”you have very nice legs.”

”oh.”

”why were you hiding this treasure from me?”

”literally, it’s called clothes. well, jeans, rather. i wear jeans a lot.” 

“a-and now you’re just like in... a really big shirt and briefs? why are you attacking me like this?”

 yoongi sighed. “they’re not my briefs, i’m wearing dance shorts. they were a, uh, gift. from jimin. they’re comfy. you can’t see them because of the oversized shirt and all, but they’re nice. a-anyway. uh, you have apple and cinnamon air freshener in your bathroom. my mum uses that scent during holiday season, so i always associate that smell with christmas. jin? i’m not very talkative and i’m reaching my word limit, are you okay? i’m doing all the babbling and—.”

”god, i’m so lucky. you’re beautiful inside and outside. you make me feel like i should go buy a lottery ticket.”

 yoongi shrugged but smiled sheepishly. “they’re just... they’re just legs.”

”they’re not just legs. they’re your legs.” he laughed lightly, leaning back against the sofa. “my mum always said that when someone falls in love for real, even the simplest things are the most amazing. i never thought i’d love someone’s limbs so much.”

 yoongi rolled his eyes but slowly made his way to his boyfriend, a little nervous. “i’m going to be honest? i hate the smell of cigarette smoke. but... you make it kind of... hot. it’s—it’s dumb and i hate the fact that you smoke because that isn’t healthy like at all, but well there’s that.” he sat down next to his boyfriend, throwing his head on his lap a few seconds later. “what about you? when are you changing? o-or undressing or whatever?” 

jin reached to stroke yoongi’s hair, smiling. “well, you said you were hungry, so we should get you something to eat.” 

“i-i was just nervous. i’m not hungry.” 

jin frowned. “oh? well, i guess we can just go to bed.” 

biting his lip, the younger hesitated. “right. i... okay. bed.” 

“tell me what’s on your mind, please. you look uncomfortable.”

yoongi sat up, tipping his head back. “i’m not. i’m just... i feel inadequate? i don’t know if that’s the right way to put it. i still can’t wrap my head around, well, us. look, i’m not a great conversationalist so just bear with me here. i’ve been trying to understand why i’m more than enough to you, but i wasn’t enough for... him, if you’re like, worlds better. i don’t even know where i’m going with this. in the end it just comes down to my undying insecurities. sorry.”

”yoongi, baby, stop. can we like, not think about your ex? it seems like it’s the one thing i hear constantly.”

the younger frowned. “he was my first relationship and it’s just my basis for comparison. and i’m scared, honestly. scared i’m falling for you too quickly, scared you’ll end up hurting me like he did. you’re like ten thousand leagues out of my reach. is it really unreasonable for me to—?”

”yes,” seokjin interrupted. “it’s very unreasonable. just let me love you, okay? let me show you what i mean. now, last call. food or bed? i think you want to eat, honestly.”

 yoongi shook his head. “it’s a bad habit, don’t enforce it. i just wanna cuddle.” jin laughed a little, just for a fraction of a second, before he ushered him to his feet. he helped jin pull the sofa bed out, and fetched blankets and pillows from his closet, fixing the space to settle in. it was when yoongi was laying the pillows as symmetrically as he could when jin choked back a coughing fit, face a deep scarlet as he tried to catch his breath. yoongi whipped around immediately, eyes wide. “jin? you okay?” seokjin muttered a half assed yes, nodding him back to the pillows. 

he composed himself, but still stared at the fucking shorts his blondie was wearing. he was literally sin walking. they were a pair of black, what seemed to be high waisted shorts hugging his little butt to perfection. with a lattice hem. like, exposing even more skin, because, yes, seokjin obviously needed that. yoongi turned around to wiggle under the covers but met with jin staring at the spot where his butt had been just seconds before. “seokjin!” he whined, “seriously!”

”it was like right there, what was i supposed to do?” he defended himself, ignoring the warmth pooling in his cheeks. he crawled under the blankets and hugged him in, sighing. “just admiring my boyfriend,” he continued. “enjoying the rare view. don’t blame me for not wanting to take it for granted.”

 yoongi pressed his face against jin’s chest. “doesn’t have to be rare,” he mumbled, wincing afterwards. jin chuckled.

“really now?”

”i’m... i’m serious. jin. look, i’m a man. i have my urges. okay? i’ve been trying to take it easy but lord knows i’ve been wanting to have you throw my legs on your shoulders since—.” he broke off when he felt jin’s hand snake down to his butt, giving it a squeeze. “you really don’t waste time,” he breathed. 

“it’s rare hearing you talk so much. i like it. means you’re loosening up.” he laughed a little. “you’re really soft, you know? i like hugging you.”

”i, uh, gained some weight... from all the stress snacking. sorry.”

”i like you like this. you’re great like this.” a hum from yoongi, then a pause. “baby, are you... comfortable? i’m not pushing you to—?”

”i literally just told you i want you, if anything you’re not pushing me enough.” seokjin gave yoongi’s butt a little smack before pulling his hand away, caressing the younger’s cheek. “you really can’t do that. if you’re gonna start something, fucking commit to it.” seokjin’s eyes widened for a nanosecond, but then he smirked. 

“you’re getting more and more comfortable. what do you want?”

”you,” yoongi replied unabashedly, bringing his cold hand to the back of jin’s head, pulling him in for a kiss. seokjin was surprised but reciprocated afterward, feeling yoongi paw at his jeans. “off.”

”slow down.”

”tired of slowing down. take them off.”

”baby, i’ve no condoms right now.”

”bag.”

jin pulled away from yoongi’s lips. “you’re... prepared.”

yoongi shrugged. “your boyfriend suggests going to his place where you’ll be completely alone after basically dry humping you. you get ideas, jinnie. this was mine.”

”i... okay. wow. we are doing this now. okay.” yoongi laughed, affectionately stroking jin’s hair before pecking his nose. 

“need me to slow down?”

”that’d be... lovely. yes. uhm... fuck, don’t get me wrong i really want you, but i’m surprised right now.”

”hmmm, why?” yoongi asked, still smiling.

”b-because when i first saw you, i conjured up this like, perception of you. like, you’re soft and innocent and butterflies flock to you, and you’re like sunshine incarnate. and then, for our first date, you wore fishnets and a crop top and, well. fuck. and my friends were right, like you aren’t exactly soft and innocent you have your like, edges, but i’m still stuck on that first impression. everything you say and do is a surprise, yoongi.” 

“do you like this, though? do you... like me? the way i am, i mean. or would you prefer if i was... i don’t know.”

”i like you like this. i wouldn’t change anything. nothing. ever.” 

they looked at each other for what felt like minutes before yoongi chuckled. “okay, don’t think you side tracked me. strip.” 

jin rolled his eyes. “way to kill the mood.”

but he obeyed, slipping out of his pants as his boyfriend threw his own shirt god knows where. 

god, was he whipped. 


	23. long distance cock block

hoseok, taehyung, namjoon, ezra, jonathan, kia, jimin and hanseol stared at the couple who had just walked in. 

the two were confused to see their groups of friends together in yoongi’s place without any notice. they didn’t remember making plans to all meet up, and even if they had, yoongi and seokjin didn’t really recall them having anything in common with each other. 

it was weirder that jimin was here but yoongi refused to dwell on it at the moment. this was already unusual enough. 

“can we know, uh, why the council’s all gathered up?” yoongi asked, frowning. 

“nice to see you again, too,” hanseol replied bitterly. seokjin furrowed his brows at his friend’s tone.

”hey, hey, why the attitude?” seokjin inquired, crossing his arms. 

hanseol rolled his eyes. “dude? we just wanted to hang. we literally just got here. why are we being interrogated?”

”if you were planning to have the place to yourselves to fuck, the TV will be loud so knock yourselves out,” ezra suggested, kia’s lips twitching upward just a bit. 

jimin spoke, but struggled meeting yoongi’s gaze. “we really just wanted to hang out. they’re... nice.”

”so how was sex?” taehyung chirped. hoseok smacked the back of his head almost reflexively, face flush. “ow! babe, why else would baby boy not come home last night? we were all wondering too!”

”not me,” kia grumbled, “if i wanted to hear explicit sexual details i’d just watch porn with visual aid narrator on. besides, these two look the type to have the most vanilla sex out there. it’d be like imagining my parents fuck. no thanks.”

jin groaned above everyone’s laughter and chatter. “we didn’t do anything, his parents cocked blocked big time. it was the most awkward conversation i’ve ever had through facetime.” jimin giggled, almost slipping off his chair. “we were basically naked, too. and they wouldn’t stop calling. all we did was slip some shirts on and sit up. but they _knew_!”

”to be fair, i did sound pretty breathless, and your hair was everywhere. kinda hard not to.” yoongi turned to the crowd. “but they wouldn’t hang up! we stayed up until four in the morning talking to my parents about literally the smallest things because one, they’re off in korea so they were wide awake and two, i just know they were having too much fun torturing us! i’m turning my phone off next time. i only answered because they were calling so much and i thought it was an emergency.”

hoseok sighed. “now i feel guilty for being here. i’ve been wanting for yoongi to finally get dicked down—.”

”hobi!” yoongi wailed.

”and now i’m the one preventing it with my presence.”

”some things just aren’t meant to be,” kia lamented jokingly. “some dicks are to remain unsucked.”

”like yours?”

”hanseol, one more comment and i’ll body slam your uncooked noodle ass.”

”i’d love that. been wanting to stop existing.”

”he’d love that for other reasons,” taehyung teased. jonathan snorted. 

“well, wow, look at the time. i have an essay due in six hours that i have not even started! i’m gonna go work on it.” yoongi began making his way up the stairs with his boyfriend in tow but stopped halfway when he heard namjoon’s voice. 

“is that a euphemism for sex?”

“namjoon!” yoongi called out, “please! you’re my only sane friend!”

”what am i? chopped liver?” ezra called. he didn’t get any response because yoongi was running up to his room now. 

“i’ve never seen him run up any set of stairs,” jimin mused, “he must really want to do his essay.” more laughter erupted and jonathan wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. 

“he’s such a virgin.”

 yoongi’s four friends looked at each other before turning to him. 

“y-you really have no idea,” hoseok breathed. “that boy’s a freak.”

”wait, guys!” jimin pressed, “we have no essays due!”

 yoongi locked the door and began pacing back and forth while his boyfriend sprawled  on the bed. “we’ll be fine. babe, my parents will love you. and they’ll love your parents, too. it’ll be great. it’s what we wanted, right?”

the smaller shook his head. “i thought it was until christmas, not on friday. that’s literally one day after my parents arrive from their trip. they’re gonna be jet lagged and irritable. i’m gonna be a nervous wreck. your parents probably expect this calm cool collected dude that just swept their son off his feet.”

”my parents know better than to harbour expectations. we’ll be fine.”

”i’m a mess,” yoongi grumbled. “my roots are showing, i’ve put on weight, my skin has seen better days... you can’t bring this,” he broke off, pointing at himself with both hands, “to your parents. the most important people in the world. you really can’t.”

”i can and i will because i think you’re perfection walking, and they’ll think so, too.” yoongi whipped his head to his boyfriend, frowning with his lower lip pushed out slightly. “i love you. get that through your head. you’re my definition of perfect and you hold every star of my universe in those cute eyes of yours. if they don’t like you, which they will, it doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t matter to you, because at the end of the day, i’m yours and i hope you’re mine and that’s all that matters.”

 yoongi looked down. “i-i am yours. i just... god, you make everything seem so simple.”

”because it is,” jin sassed. yoongi rolled his eyes. “don’t worry, okay?” shouting emerged from downstairs and he rolled his eyes. “i’m sorry those loudasses are here.”

yoongi sighed. “i was about to say the same thing. they can get... uh, violent.”

more shouting, and some laughter. yoongi just crawled into bed with his boyfriend after a few seconds. “it’d be nice to just finish what we started, right now,” jin suggested, turning to his boyfriend. 

the smaller licked his lips, humming afterward. “we can. we just have to be extra quiet.”

jin pressed his lips on yoongi’s pulse. “nah,” he breathed against his skin. “want you to be loud.” 

“really now,” yoongi replied, hand shyly slipping under jin’s white tee. cold fingertips trailing up, seokjin let out a faint hiss. “but i guess you’re right. you have the cutest little voice when you’re turned on.” 

“i can say the same thing to you,” seokjin commented, teeth biting less than gently at his boyfriend’s neck, repeating the action lower and lower until he got to a collarbone that had been pale the night before but was now decorated with small, angry marks. he revelled in the way yoongi’s sharp, small breaths became scratchy gasps as he pulled his hair back and sucked on his clavicle. he detached his lips from the sore patch of skin only to kiss him ardently, finally earning him that little moan that was a sex act on its own. yoongi’s gentle fingers turned into scratching claws as jin tugged at his lower lip and pulled his hair back. “like it, baby?”

 yoongi nodded, struggling to conjure words. jin threw one of yoongi’s legs on top of himself, bringing their hips closer. the younger pushed until he was on top of him again, grinding his hips languidly. “fuck,” he gasped, biting his lip. “jeans off.”

”you sure?” seokjin asked, reaching out to cup his boyfriend’s face. yoongi nodded fiercely. “you’re not necessarily the quiet type. and neither am i. you’re okay with it?” yoongi nodded, slipping out of his shirt. 

“let them hear how well you fuck me. i don’t care.” 

seokjin threw his head back against the pillows. his boyfriend’s duality was going to give him whiplash. 

“your wish—.”

but he didn’t finish his sentence because yoongi’s hungry lips were already on his. 


	24. i said i wanted to feel it tomorrow, not for a week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THIS IS JUST SMUT IM SO SORRY I WRITE REALLY SHITTY SEX SCENES THIS IS JUST A HEADS UP 
> 
> listen having sex and writing sex is sooo different ya hoe here trying 
> 
>  
> 
> :)))))))))))))))

 

 

> **LAST CHANCE TO TURN AWAY COS THIS BE SMUT FUCK**

 

this was the second time yoongi saw his boyfriend naked but fuck, it was something he’d definitely never get used to. seokjin was built like a god, chiseled to perfection out of the best marble. he felt slightly overwhelmed as cold fingertips traced the defined lines of his abs. 

“suddenly shy, are we?” 

“i’m just trying to take it slow for now.”

jin raised a brow at his boyfriend. “for now?”

 yoongi nodded, not looking up at his boyfriend’s playful but tender gaze. “it’s complicated. i’m used to not going past second base with you. my heart’s readying itself for another cuddle session, or an interruption. but...” 

“but?”

 yoongi looked up now, frowning. “i’m slightly overwhelmed. and... well, we don’t know each other’s sexual preferences. maybe you won’t be into what i like.”

”baby,” jin began with a soft sigh, “just let it happen naturally. and if at any time you want me to change or stop something, tell me. okay?”

the younger nodded, but then snorted. “sorry, i just... i’m always the instigator but then end up stopping. you must think i’m all bark and no bite.” 

“it’s fine,” yoongi felt more than heard jin’s response as the older pressed his lips against his pale jaw. 

yoongi hesitantly moved so their lips met, and both melted into the kiss instantly, their usual gesture feeling so different now that they were undressed. and, sure enough, after a few minutes, yoongi stopped worrying as much, allowing things to go further. shaky hands gripped jin’s shoulders as the older straddled him, moaning into his mouth. the younger drank the sound greedily, hands reaching to pull at his hair. 

jin’s lips drifted away to his neck, wet kisses and faint bites wringing a shiver through yoongi’s body. teeth grazing toward his shoulder, seokjin bit down on pristine skin and lost himself in his boyfriend’s voice. it was a low, scratchy, whiny sound that pleaded him to stop teasing him, but seokjin wasn’t quite ready to stop. lips drifted back to his, kisses less and less gentle and burning with a shared urgency as yoongi scratched at bare, wide shoulders and swirled his tongue in a motion too intoxicating for jin to process. 

seokjin felt his need for his boyfriend increase almost painfully, dragging his lips down, leaving fresh bruises down a hot trail until he made it just below yoongi’s navel. by now, yoongi’s breaths were all vocal, but the moment he felt jin’s tongue on his inner thigh, he went completely mute as he threw his head back, hitting himself on the headrest but too lost in the sensation of jin marking his thighs to even care about the pain. 

seokjin got closer and closer to his member, but then drifted away again, and then got closer again. yoongi, unthinkingly, grabbed seokjin by the hair and pushed his face in— only to earn a slap to his thigh and a low “behave” from his boyfriend.

”please just—. fuck!” yoongi exclaimed too loudly when he felt jin’s tongue trail up and down his length, face a deeper scarlet as he opted to grip at the sheets instead. with swirling motions around the tip, jin took in the bare minimum as his hand worked around the rest of his length. both sensations at once were too much for yoongi, and his low moans poured out more and more often. but, when he felt so close to his climax, jin pulled away, pushing himself up back to the younger’s lips, but not without letting out a groan of his own as a cold hand squeezed him a little less than gently. 

his thumb teased the tip, and then he pumped his member, and then he repeated his actions until jin’s hips stuttered. yoongi pulled his hand away and jin shook his head. “why’d you stop? i was so close,” he breathed, kissing yoongi’s neck again. the younger scoffed before letting out a moan. jin didn’t let him breathe.

”you stopped when _i_ was close. i just returned the favour.” he let out a surprised gasp as jin flipped their position, and then his breathing stammered as jin’s hand connected with his ass loudly. 

“you’re all sorts of bratty today,” he muttered against swollen lips. his hand slapped him one more time as they melted into a kiss again.

”more,” yoongi pleaded. “harder.” seokjin obeyed, pulling his hand back before bringing it down harder, drinking in yoongi’s little gasp. “fuck,” he breathed, drawing out a long moan that was interrupted by three consecutive smacks. he moved his hips against his boyfriend, begging with his body while he whined out his frustration. 

by now, jin was tired of foreplay, too, gripping yoongi’s waist tightly and jutting his hips upward. “condom,” he muttered. yoongi motioned to the nightstand with his chin and jin reached into the small drawer, taking out the box and throwing it on the cold wooden surface when he retrieved one. yoongi coated his own fingers with spit as jin unwrapped the condom. he began fingering himself as jin slid the condom on, watching his boyfriend stretch himself. “god, you’re so good, baby.” yoongi pressed his lips together as he worked himself, scrunching his eyes shut. “no, no, no, baby. eyes open. look at me.” yoongi obeyed, blushing as he met his boyfriend’s gaze. he couldn’t stop the low, short groans from escaping his lips, hips riding his own fingers as jin watched. yoongi accidentally found his sweet spot and gasped, abdomen stiffening.

jin smirked at him, reaching for his boyfriend’s member, smearing his precome with his thumb. “seokjin, fuck.”

“what is it, baby?”

 yoongi gulped before answering. “not enough. i want you to—.” he cut himself off with a groan, hips stuttering as jin’s gentle ministrations piled up with his own aggressive fingers. 

“want me to what?”

”i want you to fuck me. right now.” 

the older admired the bright red dusting the blonde’s face, the small tremble of his lower lip as he let out a shaky breath. his hair stuck to his forehead, and a few beads of sweat rolled down his neck. “you’re so beautiful, yoongi.” the younger, through laboured breaths, smiled a little, but then hunched forward as jin slapped his ass again. “i’m going to fucking wreck you.” and with that, the second yoongi pulled out his fingers, seokjin flipped him so he was on top again. “i want you to look at me, okay? don’t close your eyes.” yoongi nodded, jutting his hips upwards. but it was easier said than done, because his instinct was to recoil and shut his eyes as he felt him on his entrance. “baby... eyes open.”

”sorry.” seokjin cradled his face for a second, smiling reassuringly. “okay, just... i’m ready.” yoongi felt himself stretch, biting his lip as seokjin slid all the way in with a breathy curse. 

“you good?” yoongi nodded and jin sighed. “okay. can i move?”

“please,” he replied, gripping his biceps. 

seokjin began moving, hips rocking into yoongi and back. yoongi was definitely struggling to take him all, but he met every one of jin’s thrusts with one of his own. he kept his eyes open as best he could, little gasps the only sound filling the room. 

“c-can you go— i want it harder.”

jin nodded, pulling out completely before ramming in all the way. “shit, baby,” jin growled, rutting his hips faster, a hand cupping yoongi’s cheek as the younger became more vocal. “you’re so tight, baby. you’re taking me so good.” yoongi covered his face but, using the hand cradling his cheek, jin pushed his hands away. instead of leaving it at that, yoongi took one of jin’s hands and pressed it against his neck, adding enough pressure to minimise airflow. seokjin groaned, tipping his head back as he obeyed, applying more force and fixing his grip. yoongi’s now free hands reached to hold onto jin’s hips, nails digging into his skin, an attempt to let him know he wanted it harder. 

seokjin understood, thrusting in harder and quicker, hitting yoongi’s sweet spot and watching his eyes widen, mouth opening in a silent scream. hand disconnecting from the younger’s neck, their lips came together, the kiss not being enough to mute yoongi’s whiny groans. their position flipped so yoongi was now on top and he didn’t hesitate to bounce up and down, so close to his own climax, riding seokjin steadily. jin smacked his ass again and yoongi let out a moan. “you like that, baby? hmm?” yoongi nodded, biting his lip. another slap, this time harder, had yoongi speeding up his movements. “like that, baby. fuck, you’re so sexy.” he reached for yoongi’s member just as the younger hit his prostate, and he let out a mix between a moan and a broken sob. 

“s-so close, fuck—.” he broke off as jin began moving his hips below him. 

“come for me, baby.”

 yoongi leaned forward, connecting his lips to jin’s neck, leaving his own marks between calls of his name as jin thrusted in harder and harder. soon, the knotting in his belly became too much, and he released into seokjin’s hand. he sat up, rolling his hips, still too sensitive, and legs now shaky beyond the point of jelly. seokjin himself was close, and his view was helping him get closer to his climax. yoongi looked sinful atop him, his rolling languidly, lips bright red and a few tears from his own climax staining his cheeks. he looked spent as he bounced up and down instead, semi-hard again and panting. 

seokjin drank in his disheveled hair, tear-strickened face, and shiny, swollen lips, and felt his hips stutter as the moved up on their own. the younger let out a small “ah, shit,” as seokjin gripped his thighs and fucked him until he moaned louder than he was expecting, releasing into the condom and sitting up, claiming his boyfriend’s lips as the younger allowed him to ride it out. 

a couple of minutes of kissing slowly and giggling, they collapsed back onto the bed after jin disposed of the condom and wiped his stomach in yoongi’s bathroom.

”let’s shower. we’re sweaty,” jin tried. yoongi pouted with a shake of his head. “why not, love?”

”because i’m tired, and maybe even if i weren’t, i just had my back blown and i need time to recover.”

back on planet earth, they became aware of all the noise downstairs and laughed.

”you think they heard me?” yoongi asked, though in this moment he really didn’t care much. 

“i hope they did. you sounded hot as fuck.”

 yoongi slapped his cheek playfully. “stop that. seokjin...”

”hmm?” he prodded with a smile.

“i love you. so, so much. i love you.”

seokjin laughed, grabbing the younger’s small face and pecking it all over, stopping before kissing his lips. “and i love you.”


	25. the day before doomsday

don’t get him wrong, seokjin loved his baby to death, but he was a needy man and yoongi turned out to be really independent. 

he was used to yoongi clinging onto him one way or another, either by climbing on his lap or lacing their pinkies together underneath a table. 

and now it had been four hours of yoongi “working”, glued to his desk.

seokjin was irritated, to say the least. 

they were to meet each other’s parents formally tomorrow, and seokjin was finally feeling the dreadful weight of his “wonderful idea”, realising with a grimace that his boyfriend was right: meeting the parents so early into their relationship could bring forth unwanted revelations, unnecessary tension, and incorrect assumptions. 

when seokjin tried to voice his newfound worries, the younger peered at him from behind his mug of chamomile tea, eyes offering a fierce “i told you so.”

told him, he did. 

but love must make one deaf.

seokjin peeked at his boyfriend’s work station and frowned. he had no idea what kind of work this could possibly be. it just looked like he was doodling. 

jin just wanted to hold hands, damn it. 

but he saw the tension on the smaller’s shoulders, the wince as he erased and redrew, the clenching of his jaw. whatever this was, it was important. 

a pale hand reached for the yellow mug on the corner of the desk, bringing it to his lips before frowning. “empty. great.” he began straightening up, no doubt to get a refill, when seokjin jumped off the bed, grabbing the mug from him. 

“i’ll fill that up for you, babe,” was all he said before exiting the room with the mug in hand. yoongi blinked slowly, having forgotten his boyfriend was in the room, but then smiled. 

little moments like these. they were... nice. 

he adjusted his position on the desk chair, trying to centre his donut pillow better before turning back to the screens. he hated when clients were snappy and didn’t pause to think just how difficult his work actually was, but this guy was paying major cash. he couldn’t not work on the offer, no matter how last minute. first drafts were due by midnight, and he intended to finish before dinner time.

jimin was coming over today. he had volunteered to stay over because yoongi and jin were going to sleep over at jin’s starting tomorrow, for the weekend. who would cook for namjoon, then? the small ball of fluffy energy had also offered to cook today and yoongi was grateful since this project was draining his very life force. 

jimin and yoongi still had a lot to fix. no amount of cooking could change that, but for now, for namjoon’s stomach, it would have to wait. 

seokjin came back with more tea, setting it down on the same corner of the desk before bending down to kiss the younger’s hair. yoongi felt the lips on his scalp and reached to touch jin’s face, bringing him down lower to peck his boyfriend’s nose. “thank you, prince charming.”

”oh, are you finally talking to me?” seokjin replied, but cringed when he realised maybe he had sounded a little rude. his suspicion was  confirmed when yoongi slowly retracted his hand, looking back at his desk. “wait, i didn’t mean it like that. you’re just really focused and it’s quiet in here.” 

the younger took the mug, nodding. “i understand,” he mumbled after a careful sip, “and i know it must be boring for you. sorry. i don’t usually have an audience while i work, and i try to keep it that way for this same reason. this particular order is just one of those rare, annoying exceptions in which i can’t move until i’m done. the time window is ridiculously small.”

”exactly what are you doing, babe? like, what is it that you do for a living?”

 yoongi shrugged as he placed his mug down. “a combination of things. many of those are work from home kind of gigs. i make logos for budding companies, kickstarters, and other stuff, freelance. i also work for my dad, and i make and sell beats... write and sell whole songs... kids songs, songs for soundcloud artists, commercial jingles, you name it. whatever pays the bills, you know, with the least social interaction.” 

“freelance... so then this client isn’t all that? because who’d go for a freelancing amateur for an important project? means you can definitely, you know, not work on it right now... or skip it... it’s not a big loss—.”

 yoongi looked up again with an edge to his gaze, eyes glinting with annoyance and narrowing at his offensive choice of words. “it’s actually a huge opportunity for me. the company is filthy rich, and if they like what i do, it can guarantee me a fixed, powerful customer. it’s hard out in the marketing world and i’m really trying to make a name for myself, even if it takes working within a 24-hour timeframe.”

seokjin sighed, walking to the bed and throwing himself to it. “okay. i’ll leave you to it now.”

”thanks.”

he was disappointed at the lack of protest from yoongi. he was just too used to his boyfriend being all over him, can he really be blamed? 

four hours more passed of yoongi working frantically and jin refilling his mug and even bringing him a couple sandwiches. jimin was already working on dinner downstairs, giggling in namjoon’s arms. both had been swaying back and forth with small whispers and breathy laughs, breaking away sheepishly when jin walked into the kitchen for one more teabag.

”don’t stop because i’m here,” jin encouraged, sweetening the hot drink with a bit of honey. “just came for another refill.”

”hey, we know he gets distant when he’s busy. you can hang with us until he’s done. it might take a while,” namjoon suggested, leaning against the island as jimin skipped away to stir a pot on the stove. 

“sometimes, humans in general bother him while he’s like this. he might snap at you just for breathing, and it might cause a fight if you’re already on edge. which you seem to be, no offence,” jimin chirped, turning to jin with a small smile. “so stay down here. we’re about to eat and watch a movie.”

he looked at the mug, tea bag slowly staining the water a soft golden. 

“nah. i’d rather just be there. i’m his refill service for the night, anyway.”

namjoon snorted. “he’s got legs, you know.”

”he’s absolutely whipped,” jimin concluded with a snicker. 

“let him be. it’s fun to watch.”

seokjin grabbed the mug and muttered a sarcastic thanks, making his way upstairs to the room. it was much, much colder in here than downstairs, and he set the mug down once again, digging around the room and emerging with a small flannel blanket. the fabric had some pieces of dried grass on it, and he plucked them off hastily before draping yoongi’s shoulders with it. the younger stiffened, stylus clenched in surprise as jin took the chance to look at his progress.

he hummed. “try blue instead of purple. and if they requested purple, send both so they see the other. i think blue is a more appropriate colour for your sketch.” another kiss on black roots, jin sat down on the bed and saw his small frame loosen up, tension seeping off slightly. 

“‘kay.”

it was a small response, but seokjin was getting used to yoongi’s work mode now, and began admiring how hardworking and stubborn he was. 

the younger adjusted the blanket around himself and sighed, taking a sip of tea. jin heard him laugh a little and frowned. “what is it?” he asked. 

yoongi took another sip of the ridiculously sweet tea, more honey than chamomile, and shook his head. “nothing, i just...” he didn’t have the heart to tell him he had been a little too generous with the honey, especially since the previous teas had all been made with sugar, so he just let out another small laugh. “you’re too sweet.”

”oh.”

more chuckles from yoongi, jin didn’t know how to react. on one part, he loved hearing him laugh, on the other hand, he was confused as to why he was laughing in the first place. 

another sip, another giggle, and a shake of his blonde tresses. 

“oh, my god, i love you.”


	26. you know, it could’ve gone worse. i mean, i’m talking apocalyptic. this was just a 3.0 on the richter scale.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maybe meeting the parents wasn’t so bad, after all.

yoongi fiddled with the collar of jin’s shirt, sighing. “is it bad to cancel?”

”it’s kinda hard to get a reservation there. my parents got it out of pure luck.”

 yoongi scoffed. “lovely.”

”love, i’m nervous and you’re nervous, and that’s making me more nervous, and i’m sure it’s all for nothing, so please just... stop fidgeting around and let’s go.”

 the younger looked at his reflection in the mirror. “i don’t know... do i look good enough—“

”you always do!”

”—by your side?”

seokjin sighed. “not this again. you’re more than good enough, okay? you’re more than what i want and need. please understand. there’s tonnes of things to actually worry about. like, is your boyfriend gonna survive med school? when are aspics making a comeback? why are cassowaries a thing?”

”we have to do something about the declining bee population!” yoongi pressed fervently.

”yes! exactly! see? i know your doubts and my doubts are tiny, microscopic things, but i’m aware of their impact. i know things can definitely change after tonight. but sunshine, we’re all just a bunch of particles floating by and binding with more particles. there’s nothing much to do besides learn to embrace it. and maybe i want you to be that particle that decides to make a molecule with me.”

 yoongi hid his face in his hands. “that’s... it kinda sounds like a proposal, in the weirdest and cheesiest way possible.”

seokjin got down on one knee, clasping both hands around one of yoongi’s. “will you form a covalent bond with me?”

 yoongi pressed his lips together but a light snort and a shake of his shoulders gave him away. he decided to just laugh, kneeling with his boyfriend and sharing a slow kiss. “we’re stronger than the three forces keeping atoms together. don’t doubt it. and i won’t either.”

seokjin gave him the most tender smile. “good. that’s what i’ve been wanting to hear. we have to stand up now though. we’re on our knees in my bathroom. it’s not necessary dirty, but...” yoongi stood up and pulled his boyfriend to his feet as well, both boys still smiling. “this is how i like to see you best. smiling and stuff. are you ready to go now?”

yoongi turned to the mirror one last time. body almost pressed against his boyfriend, they looked like pieces of a puzzle. he looked at his face, the pink dusting his cheeks and his just-kissed lips, smiling wider as he looked back at jin. “seokjin, never change.”

”impossible with you. i become a better person every day you’re by my side.”

yoongi thought it was the other way around. 

 

————

well, shit. 

he was really sticking out at this table. clad in a vivid red silk button up, he was the only one wearing anything that wasn’t on the monochromatic side. 

“once again, we apologise for being a little late,” seokjin’s mum repeated, looking up from the choices of wine. but yoongi’s mum shook her head once, twice, offering her a soft smile.

“i think we may have arrived a little earlier. it’s fine. what’s important is that the stars of the show are here.” she beamed at yoongi and he offered her a smile back. 

“he’s quite handsome,” seokjin’s mum added, placing her menu down. 

“your son as well,” yoongi’s mum gushed, “look at those broad shoulders! he certainly is easy on the eyes!”

”isn’t he? he’s our pride and joy, our eldest. those big shoulders of him carry a bright future.”

yoongi’s dad eyed seokjin once in a while, devoid of any positive or negative emotion. just... judging. the women were leaning to each other, swiping through their phones to share baby photos and even some recent, with comments like, “look at that handsome boy!” and “what a little heartbreaker!” while they minded their own business, seokjin’s dad cleared his throat.

”dom pérignon?”

yoongi’s dad agreed. “excellent choice. 1990?”

”1975. it’s a special night.”

”then it’s settled.”

seokjin’s jaw hardened and he looked at his dad pointedly, but yoongi twined their pinkies together. “molecules?”

”atoms,” jin replied, looking away from his father and down to his boyfriend.

”protons, neutrons...” yoongi continued, their hands slipping together all the way. 

”electrons.”

”quarks.”

”gluons. leptons...”

”bosons, neutrinos.”

”photons.”

”me, and you,” yoongi affirmed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

”yeah... yes.”

“good?”

”very. i’m fine.”

”they’re so sweet. i didn’t understand anything they said, but it felt sweet,” jin’s mum cooed. 

“particles,” yoongi’s parents and jin’s dad replied in unison, all four looking back at the couple. a blush challenging the colour of his shirt bloomed on yoongi’s cheeks. 

“oh, shush. i know what they are. i just don’t understand the context here.”

”i think we just witnessed a vow recital,” jin’s dad added. “but in all seriousness, son, since we’re on this topic and i’ve been meaning to ask. is this an engagement dinner?”

if yoongi was blushing before, he was completely aflame now, looking down at the table, the cutlery set in front of him suddenly extremely fascinating. jin spoke as he squeezed the other’s hand this time around. “i can assure you neither of us has put a ring on it. baby steps. i’ve done everything in my life running, mum, dad. i want to savour this one thing.” he took a deep breath as yoongi looked at him. “high school was a blur once freshman year was over. you two drowned me in extra curriculars and internships and college classes. i tried so hard to fit the other parts in, the parts kids my age were going through and sharing with each other, but it was so difficult to maintain. he makes the blur that is my world come into focus. he lets time melt and trickle to a stop. so no, this isn’t an engagement dinner, it’s a simple introduction. i wanted you to meet the reason my life makes a little more sense.” he turned to yoongi’s parents with a shy smile. “i love your son, by the way.” 

yoongi’s dad dropped the stern act and grinned. “and we’re glad you do.” 

the waiter disrupted the moment and they began ordering their first course, jin’s hand still in yoongi’s even after their drinks were poured. 

“the chirashi box... interesting choice. i’ve always wanted to order it but i always go for the agnolotti.”

yoongi gave jin’s dad a semi smile. “the opposite for me. i’ve always wanted to try the agnolotti, but it’s in human nature to hesitate when confronted with new things. humans seek familiarity and order.”

”i like you. are you working right now or solely focusing on studies?”

finally something yoongi could talk about naturally, he loosened up a bit. “well, i work. it’s difficult paying bills with no money.”

”yoongi has been living out of his own pocket since high school. we’re really proud of him,” his mum interrupted. “this boy is all the magic in the world poured into a wonderful living being.”

seokjin couldn’t agree more, loving the way his mum talked about him. she was right, too. yoongi was pure magic.

”what are you studying for?”

”i’m a business major. i hope to take over my father’s company when necessary. it can be handed down to me, but i want to work for it, so i’ve been trying really hard to prove my worth and make a name for myself.”

”that’s so lovely!” jin’s mum chirped, taking a delicate sip of wine. yoongi was too scared to touch such an expensive drink, so he reached for his water. 

but jin’s dad seemed to cool down a little, atmosphere suddenly dense. “so, not a doctor?”

”no, not for me. definitely not my thing.”

”jin is studying to be a doctor.”

 yoongi nodded. “and you have no idea how immensely proud—.”

”his mother and i are doctors. it’s a family thing. my parents were doctors and their parents were, as well, and their parents before that. through our blood courses the evolution of medicine as we know it—.”

”in any case, i don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re both males of the human species and cannot therefore bear any children to pass down that history. i guess the exception makes the rule, mr kim.”

mr kim huffed. “you can adopt—.”

”honey,” jin’s mum begged. 

“you know—.”

”they’re fine. and your tradition is a little antiquated. and your siblings don’t follow it. it’s cute. and i’m glad it’s that way because i got to marry you, but honey look at them. they’re happy this way. and i’m happy for them.”

”i couldn’t have said that better myself,” yoongi’s mum agreed. “but then again my husband and i have loved your son since our son first mentioned him. love is a powerful thing, sir,” she added, wagging a finger at him in mock fury. “and us lesser beings cannot get in the way of angels. let them do their thing.”

seokjin looked at his father hopefully, his palm sweating in yoongi’s hold. 

his father finally spoke after clearing his throat. “we should leave this conversation for another time. i was thinking brunch...”

seokjin knew that was the most progress he was going to make tonight and he was grateful for the tender hand cradling his own so softly.

he looked at yoongi one more time while the younger hesitantly reached for the ostentatious, overpriced wine before taking a dainty sip.

it was safe to call this night a success. 


	27. pls coem bek frnd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so maybe yoongi misses jimin. and wants him to come back. if he wants. he’s not going to, like, beg.

yoongi blinked at his mug, refusing to look up.

”dude, you called me here. just talk to me.”

the older nodded, taking a deep breath. “t-thanks for the shorts. they’re... they’re nice.” jimin peered at yoongi’s pale legs, clad in the black dance shorts he had gifted him more as a joke than anything. jimin didn’t recall seeing him wear these ever. he actually thought the older had tossed them out or something.

with a snicker, jimin replied. “you’re sat like you know you’re a bad bitch. how often do you wear these that you look so confident?”

”t-that’s not... you’re not here for us to talk about my ever evolving fashion sense. we need to... catch up. and i’ve missed you. and stuff.”

jimin was taken aback by that. he didn’t think yoongi would be so straight forward but so nervous at the same time. it made his words feel more genuine. “i’ve missed you too, but what stuff do we need to talk about? catch me up, fam.”

he took a deep breath before making eye contact with jimin. “i met the parents. i met jin’s parents and he met mine and wow. that was such a fucking leap. now our parents are meeting up for brunch tomorrow and then i guess we’re celebrating christmas at jin’s parents’ place. and apparently it’s gonna be a christmas eve slash christmas day sleepover and they’re crazy, jiminie, they’re doing this on purpose or something!”

jimin felt his brow arch up. “i’m the best man, right? or do i have to battle to the death with my boyfriend?”

”y-you’re both— jimin, we’re not getting married!”

but jimin sighed, crossing his legs. “i wouldn’t even be surprised. it’s okay to move quickly. i myself didn’t pace my relationship with namjoon in the best, most orthodox way. it’s fine. when it’s real love, it’s all fine.” 

“move back in,” yoongi blurted. jimin blinked, frowning. “fuck all of whatever we fought about! j-just, come back. i need you. your daft ass boyfriend needs you. please.”

”it wasn’t ‘whatever’, yoongi. you were kinda right. i shouldn’t have... i really crossed the line more than once and never stopped to think. besides, you let me visit plenty. nam doesn’t miss me. we see each other a lot.”

 yoongi swivelled in his desk chair to carefully set his mug down before spinning back around and pulling his legs to his chest. once he was a little ball, he took a deep breath. “a big part of it was jealousy induced. i was so angry that my two best friends were so lucky to have each other while i just drowned in memories of a shitty relationship. it was wrong of me. i’m sorry it took me getting a boyfriend to realise i didn’t have a problem with you sounding like a troubled cat.”

”yoongi!”

”and the rent and groceries thing, we were all to blame. we got too confident in our budget and overspent. it happens to everyone.”

”and... the thing about your ex, chubs?”

”fuck that guy. don’t even think about him. i’m happy right now. and i’ll most likely never see him again. just... jimin, please. i’m finally getting there, you know? i’m finally feeling like i can and will be happy. you just need to be a part of that.”

”yoongi, i really don’t think—.”

”i’ll beg on my knees if it’s what it takes.”

”this isn’t about humiliating yourself to prove a point. it’s about you and me. it really did hurt to get kicked out. it hurt that you didn’t see me as more than a sex crazed brat invading your sacred sanctuary. it hurt that you didn’t consult me for the budgeting. i could’ve been more aware, i could’ve helped out. instead you pushed me away, insulted me away. humiliated me away. jin’s friends didn’t have to be there—.”

”i know, i’m sorry.”

”it was a problem we could’ve fixed alone. a problem between us. a problem _among_ us. us as in, your best friends. not your boyfriend and his stereotypical high school bad boy clique.”

”they’re my friends, too.”

jimin snorted. “since when have you been so easy? it took me and namjoon a while to crack you open.”

”yeah, and now i’m more approachable and open and less distrustful and paranoid than before. and you should be proud you broke me out of that. don’t chastise me about it when it’s something you brought forth.”

the younger shook his head, letting his back collapse against yoongi’s bed. “fuck, min. i don’t even know where this conversation is going.”

”you know exactly where it’s going. come back.”

a few minutes of silence ensued and yoongi felt himself cringe more and more against his desk chair. hopes shrivelled, he decided this would be the last time he asked. maybe it just wasn’t meant to happen. maybe yoongi had really messed up. 

but then jimin spoke in the tiniest of a whisper.

”give me time. i’ll think about it.”

 yoongi felt his muscles relax, jaw aching. “okay. that’s good enough.”


	28. haha merry fucking christmas am i right?

the phone continued to ring on the bedside table. ignored. once again. 

but seokjin reacted this time, groaning. “we’re super late,” he grounded, hands clenching yoongi’s thighs. 

the younger didn’t stop his movements, moaning. “fuck it,” he let out. “it’s barely dinner time. they can—fuck! right there!” seokjin flipped their position, throwing yoongi’s legs on his shoulders. “shit,” he hissed, hands desperately reaching for jin’s face, kissing him ardently. 

“you’re being a little too loud today, angel,” seokjin warned. yoongi bit his lip down in response. “good baby.” both their phones began to ring just as seokjin began to stroke yoongi into climax. seokjin rolled his eyes and yoongi whined when the touches stopped, jin sliding in and out slowly as he caught his breath. “sorry, baby. i think we should answer before they start a search party for us.” yoongi nodded, catching his breath a little before answering the call as jin did the same. 

“hi, mum. we’re on our way—.”

”can you two fuck some other day? we’re waiting and we’re starving!”

”mum!” he hissed. “what the fuck? geez, i can’t even talk to you through the phone! i’m on my way out the door!” he hung up, face a deep vermilion. “for fucks sake,” he complained, pouting. “can’t even have some— ah!” yoongi clung onto jin’s shoulders as the older rammed into him mercilessly. “seokjin! fuck!”

”sorry, honey,” he grunted, wincing when yoongi’s teeth dug into his bicep. the younger came with a long groan, hips stuttering as jin pulled out to finish on the towel next to them. “fuck, now we have to get ready super fast. why did you say we were already on our way out?”

”i panicked, baby!”

”so did i! come on, into the shower we go.”

”i-i... i haven’t recovered—.”

”blondie, not now...” jin gathered him into his arms and took him to the bathroom, starting the shower with yoongi still coiled around him like a koala. 

“i need my cuddles,” yoongi protested. “it’s christmas!”

”we’ll cuddle later. we’re supposed to look like humans in a few minutes. shit, if you weren’t so fucking hot we wouldn’t be late.”

”this is your fault! you’re too fucking irresistible!”

”okay, okay! we’re both at fault here. let’s just wash up, baby.” yoongi still wouldn’t let go. “come on, yoon. fine. stay on me. whatever.”

 

after an hour of trying to look decent and raging in traffic, they made it to seokjin’s house. seokjin hummed as he looked for his old house key, frowning when he remembered his mum’s words on the phone. 

_“your little brother’s friend is staying over this christmas. please be kind to him.”_

jin scoffed. little brother’s friend? it was definitely a boyfriend. or maybe even a hookup. who knew with his brother nowadays?  he starts senior year and suddenly he thinks he’s the shit. 

“my mum says my little brother’s friend is staying over. i’m warning you, you might see them groping each other in a dark corner of the house, so be careful.”

 yoongi huffed with a grin. “and here i thought we’d be the ones doing the in-the-dark groping.”

”we can definitely try. our parents won’t let us out of their sights tonight, though.” he finally got the door open and the smell of food slapped them, both of them taking a deep breath. “holy fuck, i’m starving!”

”same,” yoongi agreed, removing his shoes after setting the gifts down on the floor. both their mums came to greet them, taking the gifts and babbling about how they just sat down to eat already and apologising that they couldn’t wait. they were rushed to the dining room table and handed plates towering with food. yoongi noticed two empty chairs after the greetings were over. “so, i’m guessing that’s where the ever elusive brother and his friend are sitting?”

”yeah, my son spilt some stuff in the kitchen and they’re cleaning it right now. boys! leave that for later! come say hi!” jin’s mum grinned. “kids nowadays. oh, yoongi, you’ll love our youngest. he’s got these big doe eyes and he’s just so lively!”

”come to think of it, i haven’t seen them either,” yoongi’s mum mused. “it’s like they’re hiding from us,” she said with a giggle.

jin’s mum nodded. “can definitely be the case. my little baby’s a shy one. but he’s very intelligent and so pleasant to—! jeonggukie, come say hello!”

yoongi and his parents fell completely silent, yoongi looking down at his plate. he winced when he heard jeongguk’s voice, slightly deeper. “h-hi, mr and mrs min. it’s... been a while.”

yoongi’s dad huffed in disbelief, his mum covering other face with her hands. the kims didn’t really understand what was happening. jin was the first to speak. “what’s going on?”

”yoongi, did you know?” his dad inquired. 

“of course not!” he moaned, tugging at his hair. “i wouldn’t even be here otherwise.”

”is there a problem?” dr kim asked, confused. 

“what a small world,” yoongi’s mum mumbled. “what a stupidly small world. yoongi, sweetheart. let’s go.”

but jin gripped his boyfriend’s arm. “w-why?”

”i’m sorry. we can’t... come on, love. i’m so sorry, but we do have to leave.”

”someone tell me what the fuck is happening, please!” seokjin’s mum wailed, fork clinking as she dropped it back into her plate. 

“jeongguk!” yoongi heard a voice call. a very familiar voice. a sweet as honey, bubbly sound that was so familiar and so home-like to him felt like a burning knife cutting through his flesh. he looked up to meet jimin’s wide eyes as he finished stepping into the dining room. “y-yoongi?”

”jimin?” jin asked. the younger looked away from his best friend’s gaze to look at seokjin. “jimin, what are you doing here? how do you know my brother? jeongguk, how the hell do you know my boyfriend’s parents? what the hell is happening?”

”seokjin,” yoongi forced out, standing up. “that’s him. that’s— that’s my ex.”

”chubs, i’m so sorry—.” jimin tried but yoongi slid out of his chair, storming out of the dining room. 

“don’t you dare talk to me again, jimin park!” yoongi yelled before the front door slammed shut.

”jeongguk! what did you _do_ to the boy?” his dad hissed. “what the fuck did you do?”

”you fucking mongrel!” jin barked.

”seokjin kim!”

”you fucking bastard!”

”seokjin! stop or so help me, young man!”

”your precious baby is a piece of shit, dad! you have no idea how much shit he put yoongi through! and you!” he pointed at jimin. “i fucking hate you. did you not learn? do you not care about yoongi at all? do you not respect even your boyfriend at least? i’m done here. fuck both of you. do you know how hard it was for yoongi to warm up to me and accept to be my boyfriend? you fucking scarred him! jimin, you were there! you were there longer than me! you saw the real damage! so why are you here? why would you do that? fuck!”

he stormed out, running to the front door. he panicked when he didn’t see yoongi, but then he heard a sniffle from the garden and followed the sound. yoongi looked up, nose red and tears flowing incessantly. “i’m sorry. i panicked.”

i panicked.

how many times had he said that since they met? he was too fucking soft to have gone through tonight. 

“honey. come over here. sit with me,” jin said, patting his lap. 

but this time, yoongi remained sat on his spot, shaking his head. 

“seokjin... i think we need to break up.”

”what?”


	29. what k-drama is this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to @taraki for the title idea lmao
> 
> also, i should add this story is approaching its end. thanks so much for those of you who have been following the story. have something to say? any requests? let me know(:

“what?” 

“i said, let’s break up.”

jin blinked at his boyfriend. “no.”

yoongi huffed, wiping at his nose. “i’m not asking you for permission. i’m telling you to break up.”

”i refuse the offer, thanks.”

”seokjin—.”

”yoongi,” jin interrupted, “i can’t let you break up with me. you’re doing this on an emotion driven impulse. we’ve no reason to split. so no thanks. look, baby, it’s raining and you’re here getting all soaked up. can we at least talk in the car?” yoongi shook his head. “alright. i’ll do as you say.”

”you always do,” yoongi mumbled. “so please keep to the tradition and listen to me when i say we’re over.” 

“but we’re not over. how the hell did we go from struggling to shower because you wouldn’t get off me to you refusing to talk this out? it makes no sense, yoongi, to break up with me when we make each other so happy.”

yoongi’s tears mingled with the rain and he rubbed at his cheeks and eyes, frustrated. “your brother’s the guy who fucked me over. it’s so messed up, seokjin... i lost my virginity to him.”

”so?”

”you’re like, getting sloppy seconds.”

”yoongi, don’t say that about yourself.”

“it’s just... what if you’re like him?” 

seokjin sighed. “i’m sorry you think that way. if i’ve done something to make you feel like that, then sorry. yoongi, just get in the car. we can talk in there.”

”how about you take me home, instead? to _my_ home?”

seokjin felt his chest constrict, realising the breakup was most likely inevitable, but he agreed for yoongi’s sake. putting his own feelings aside for now, he motioned for yoongi to follow him, keeping his distance. the drive was a silent one, with only yoongi’s sniffles filling the silence just a bit, and it was heart wrenching. his tears tired him out, and a few minutes in, he was asleep. jin felt like just turning around and driving to his own place, but he couldn’t do that to yoongi. he respected his want to go back to his place, even if it wasn’t necessary. 

it wasn’t necessary, jin tried to rationalise with himself, because they were okay. because they were a happy couple. because they just had to calm down and talk it through. 

his sleeping beauty wouldn’t even budge, so he carried him up to his apartment, digging through the smaller’s pockets for his keys. then, he climbed up the stairs to his room, placing him gently on the bed. jin sat next to him, realising that yoongi was awake now and had just kept his eyes closed. pretending to be asleep was such a yoongi thing. he liked doing it to hear compliments from his boyfriend. 

jin took advantage of yoongi’s habit.

”if you want a breakup, who am i to say no? i can’t force you to be with me, blondie. and i know you can’t hear me now, but i love you. lots. too much. i’m sorry my brother was a fucking dick, but we’re not the same person. what he’s done is completely independent to him. i’d never hurt you. if i had known he was your ex, i would have never allowed tonight to happen. please believe me. if you really don’t want to be with me anymore, i can’t make you, but i’ll wait. you can take me back whenever. tomorrow, in two weeks, in five years. i love you, yoongi min. even if you’re hurting me with this absurd breakup thing. if this is what it takes to stop your tears, i’ve no choice to say, yes, let’s break up.”

yoongi tried to breathe evenly and keep a straight face, but the tears began falling from his closed eyes, lip trembling. he wanted to say something, but he stubbornly didn’t want to give himself away. 

“you’re beautiful, and maybe you’ll move on—.”

”jinnie, stop,” yoongi begged, hand reaching for the other’s wrist. “please, just...”

”i love you.”

”seokjin...”

”i love you so much.”

”please.”

”always and forever, yoongi.”

he still wasn’t turning to yoongi, and the younger pulled at him. “seokjin... i’m sorry. please, just stop. i love you, too. i’m sorry i overreacted. i just—.”

”just panicked. yeah. maybe what you want is a break?”

”no, for fucks sake. i take it back. forget i said anything about breaking up. i’m sorry. i’m just emotional. i’m such a big baby. please let me be with you. i don’t want space.”

jin chuckled slightly. “yeah, i know. you want the opposite of space, you’re impossibly clingy.” he turned around, and yoongi instantly climbed into his lap, embracing him. jin hesitantly wrapped his arms around him. “it’s justified, you know? how you feel. i just... don’t break up with me like that okay? it felt too heavy.”

”i do need space, though,” yoongi grumbled, burying his face in jin’s neck. “i think we did start moving too fast.”

”a little,” jin agreed, rubbing the boy’s back. “i just wish i wouldn’t have left your gift in my parents’ house. now what?”

”we can go back tomorrow morning. for now i just need to sleep the stress off. jin, i don’t think we should stay over at each other’s places for a bit. it’s causing stronger attachment, and if we do break up for real, it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.” 

“i... okay. i can take this. i can handle that.” the younger’s eyes began to flutter shut and jin sighed. “should... should i leave now?”

 yoongi shook his head. “not tonight. it’s chrstmas, jin.”

seokjin rolled his eyes with a small smile, cradling the boy’s face gently. “of course.”

what a rollercoaster this night turned out to be.


	30. as cheesy as it sounds, you are my gift

the presents were all untouched under the christmas tree, jin realised. no one had reached for theirs. yoongi walked into the family room hesitantly, eyes trained on the floor. as much as his boyfriend tried, the younger couldn’t stop feeling guilty for ruining christmas eve, despite seokjin thinking his actions were justified. jin’s parents as well as yoongi’s greeted them, and yoongi tried to perk up. 

“where’s my brother?” jin asked cautiously.

”he’s in his room helping his friend pack some stuff. i guess the boy is leaving.”

”i thought he had nowhere to go,” jin scoffed, but his mum shook his head.

”he doesn’t.”

 yoongi bit his lip and looked at the polished hardwood floor beneath his socked feet. this wasn’t fair. he wasn’t supposed to feel bad for jimin when he had gone and betrayed him. best friends are best friends, he guessed, and the heart will always have a weakness for them.

no one brought up the little scene from christmas eve, but it was most likely due to yoongi’s parents’ explanation. he was glad both families weren’t on bad terms. they were definitely enjoying each other’s company.

they ate breakfast all together, with the exception of his ex boyfriend and best friend, and the conversation stayed light and inviting. yoongi found himself relaxing more and more as he cleared his plate and was served seconds.

“can you believe that!” yoongi heard his dad scoff, followed by jin’s dad throwing in a one liner and his own father losing his shit. it was hard to be upset when his family was having such a good time. it was even more difficult when he had jin next to him, their knees touching beneath the table.

seokjin was relieved to see the tension leave his boyfriend’s small body. he wanted him to be as happy as he could possibly be. soon they all finished eating and moved the conversation back to where they had started. yoongi eyed the gifts and seokjin’s mum followed his gaze. “oh, we should open those now. we don’t want to keep these two so long. but a photo first!”

the couple posed for jin’s mother, yoongi scolding himself for not wearing something a little more formal or festive, but as yoongi and jin settled down next to the christmas tree, jimin ran down the stairs, excusing himself feebly as he practically ran to the front door. yoongi tried to keep his eyes on the ground, teeth clenched. he had to stay sitting, he couldn’t stand up. there was no way he was going to chase that bastard—.

”it’s fine,” jin encouraged, almost as if he had read his mind. the younger sprung to his feet, barefoot, stepping out into the slightly damp stones making up the walkway. 

“jimin!” he called, face pinched in pain. his friend of a lifetime turned around, lip trembling. “where are you going?” the boy shrugged. “no, tell me!” he walked closer to him, socks getting soggier with each step. jimin’s eyes flickered to his feet. “jimin, please just go back to the apartment. i told you to come back already and i told myself i wouldn’t ask again but i’m tired of this. and i don’t want you near him! if namjoon finds out, he’ll dump you and you’ll both—.”

”wait...” jimin walked closer to the other, brows furrowing. “you didn’t tell joonie?” his face morphed into shock, then straight dread, hand shakily reaching for his phone in his pocket. “jesus... oh, fuck! what did i do? why didn’t you tell him anything?”

”because i don’t want you two to be apart, jimin! because i’m not a bad guy, jimin! that’s why!”

”no. you are! you’re supposed to be—. you’re supposed to hate me. you’re supposed to want retribution!”

”i just want you back home.”

”your boyfriend hates me—.”

”he comes after. you’re family.”

”last night you said—.” 

“last night was a nightmare. okay? we don’t mention last night. jinnie and i talked all night and a bit this morning and he settled me down. truth is i really cannot be jeopardising my relationships over an ex. you’re important. please just go back? if not permanently at least until you figure out what to do. and... uh...” scratching the back of his neck, yoongi chuckled awkwardly. “you can get your gifts. i got you something. it’s not too flashy, but it’s okay.”

but yoongi didn’t expect for jimin to shove at his shoulders, almost losing his balance. “you should be angry! you were angry yesterday, you can’t just turn shit around like this!” another shove, this time met by yoongi taking two unsteady steps back.

”that doesn’t matter right now! i’m not leaving you alone in deadass winter!”

they looked at each other, silence engulfing them. jimin’s phone remained clenched in his hand, the messaging app open. the older of the two friends peered at the screen, scowling at the contact name. “why did joonie send you such a long message? he prefers phone calls to say important... shit, jimin.”

”i thought you’d tell him first, so i decided to talk to him about it.”

”and?”

jimin burst into tears, yoongi’s hands shooting up instinctively to the younger’s cheeks. tear after tear trickled down, little sobs shaking small shoulders. “why didn’t you tell him?” he repeated. he allowed his friend to envelop him, sobbing into his neck. “i lost him. i lost him and it’s all my fault. i didn’t think... i never think. i feel so exhausted.”

”you didn’t lose him because nothing happened between you and _him_ , right?”

”of course not! i couldn’t bear even a handshake with him. i was just here because i didn’t really know where to go. being in hoseok and taehyung’s place, i felt so... pressured. i felt guilty. here the house is so big and jeongguk is hardly ever here. we hardly talked, so i didn’t feel as guilty if i just pretended i was somewhere else. but namjoon... he wants none of it. no explanation, no apology, no jimin. we’re done. i pushed him to this. i told him about this because i thought you’d... report everything to him, and maybe twist things in your favour—.”

”minie, i told you to move back in!”

”i know, but i was... all of this... this all hurts. it’s hell. it’s been hell. i thought...”

yoongi pulled away from the embrace, trying his best to smile. “jiminie. let’s not talk about this anymore, okay? i forgive you. see it as another christmas gift. i can’t leave you alone in the streets during winter— during holidays! you’re coming back with me.”

 jimin shook his head vigorously. “no no. i can’t go there. i’m not doing this to him!”

”he’s right,” jin’s voice rang from behind them, stepping out of the bushes and into the stone path. “stay at my place. i’m hardly ever home. i’ll sleep at ezra’s place for the time being.”

 yoongi beamed. “see? even he forgives you.”

”oh. i don’t. i’m just not an asshole. this in no way means i think he’s worth your friendship. but i recognise he’s important to you.” 

jimin took a deep breath, staring between the couple. what other choice did he have? 

“okay. thank you. i’ll pay you back for this.” jin snorted, rolling his eyes. 

“you say that with a straight face in your position? don’t make promises you can’t keep. just... be good to him now.” he walked closer to yoongi, kissing him sweetly as he shoved a pair of keys to the other boy. when he pulled away from his boyfriend, he looked at jimin with a scowl. “yoon will send you the address. merry christmas or whatever.”

”i-i’ll get you a christmas gift!” jimin amended. 

jin snorted. “as stupid as this sounds, you off the streets is my christmas gift. for yoongi’s sake.”


	31. user not found

things can change in a matter of seconds, can’t they? words can make and break a person, and actions a future. his only question was, why were those things said and done? why couldn’t he do things right for once? 

jimin stared at the ceiling, hand lingering on his cellphone. it had just gone off with the special ringtone he had set for yoongi, and dread washed over him in aggressive waves. what was the message about? the younger had spent new years here, alone, with the exception of the day yoongi came to pick some things up for his boyfriend, as well as leave him his packed belongings from jin’s parents’ house, as well as the present he had gotten for jimin. 

it sat on the small dining table, still neatly wrapped. 

the way it was covered in the ostentatiously shiny paper was a dead giveaway that yoongi was stupidly proud of his gift selection. his best friend had always been very transparent with that sort of thing. predictable. he always knew the most neatly wrapped, the ones with the special bows and careful, swirly writing, were the ones he had put the most effort into. he finally picked his phone up but went directly to instagram. 

lo and behold, it’s been a week and some days and namjoon still had him blocked. 

he had debated making another account, just to check on him, but quickly decided against it. that didn’t sound too healthy at all. 

his phone went off in his hand again. the banner held a one word message from yoongi.

 **chubby hyung uwu:** _ just now _

_jiminie?_

he opened the conversation, thanking god he didn’t have an iphone so the older of the two wouldn’t know he had opened his messages. 

 **chubby hyung uwu:**   _1 jan 00:01_

_hey jiminie cricket, happy new year! let this be a fresh start to allow us to be together for a long long time okay?_

**chubby hyung uwu:**   _1 jan 19:42_

_have you opened your gift yet? -w- hyung put extra care into it_

**chubby hyung uwu:**   _3 jan 10:12_

_i know you need space but i’m worried please text me back when you can._

**chubby hyung uwu:**   _4 jan 08:19_

_jimin._

**chubby hyung uwu:** _ 4 jan 20:02 _

_jiminie pls pls pls be kind okay? seokjin needs some things from his place but we’re not home rn so he’s sending someone_

**chubby hyung uwu:** _ 4 jan 20:02  _

_at least thumbs up in respnose? i need t know if ur there since u have fhe keys_

**chubby hyung uwu:** _ 4 jan 20:03 _

_br0 blEase_

**chubby hyung uwu:** _ 4 jan 20:04 _

_lmao that was jinnie_

**chubby hyung uwu:** _ 4 jan 20:04 _

_jiminie?_

what the hell should he say? it wasn’t his home, he couldn’t deny entry, but he didn’t want to see anyone that wasn’t yoongi or namjoon. it was the only two people he could stomach right now. he felt bad for not really wanting to see hoseok or taehyung. well, it wasn’t that he didn’t love them, but his heart was yearning for the two people he had hurt. silly, silly jimin. he was in no place to demand to know who’s coming, or act pissy about anything. he began to type his response when a call came in. he answered it accidentally, since his fingers had been swiping away at the keyboard. he cursed under his breath. tempted to hang up, but brought the phone to his ear. “h-hello? i was just about to reply to your—.”

“you better not be naked when he gets there. try to look presentable. it was jin hyung’s voice. he wasn’t expecting it.

“o-oh. jin. who’s coming?”

he could hear his eyes roll through the phone. “whoever answers first. it’s like everyone agreed today is ignore the gays day. i ordered a plate of biscuits and gravy twenty minutes ago and it’s still not here. probably ezra, probably hoseok? not sure. just promise you’ll open the goddamn door and you won’t stink. i dunno what you do when depressed but i hope my apartment’s in shape.”

jimin huffed. “i’m a neat person. nothing’s out of place.”

after the phone call was over, jimin frantically stood up and began cleaning as fast as he could. the place wasn’t terrible. it just consisted of a few mugs here and there, and an empty box of granola bars, but he still high dusted, took a quick shower, and tried to make it seem as if the apartment had been vacant this whole time. after he cleaned the table, yoongi’s christmas gift went back to its seat on the cold wood surface. and, just as he had set more tea water to boil, there was a knock on the door.

jimin had grown to hate this door because  _ it didn’t have a peephole.  _ he had been instructed to open the door but how did he know this wasn’t a burglar? his phone vibrated on the table and he ran to it, reading jin’s message 

**chubby hyung uwu:** _ just now _

_ can you PLS open the door? -jin _

jimin set his phone down and slowly marched to the door, taking a deep breath. it’s most likely seokseokie, or maybe even ezra. most likely ezra actually, since he’s best friends with jin after all. 

he opened the door, trying his best to look a little… not gloomy? 

but his efforts died down when namjoon was the one standing in front of him. he felt the wind being knocked out of him, backing up, shaking his head. “what-what-what are you doing—?”

“it’s just a favour for jin. that’s all.”

disappointment stung and burned throughout his thorax, frown setting in deeper. “why? you two are by no means close enough for you to run errands for him.” namjoon snorted as the door closed behind yoongi, both of them standing inside. 

“well, my ex is invading his personal space so, yes, i feel inclined to help.”

“how gracious of you,” jimin bit, crossing his arms. it was a mistake. it was now that his arms were pressed against his chest that he realised how badly his heart wanted to break through his sternum. his stern expression fell as he pushed his own arms off his chest abruptly, looking down. “just… do your thing.”

namjoon snorted, a challenge in his next words’ tone. “what? where’s your fierce stance? where’s your stupid bravado? did it not work the way you wanted it to? did i not melt into your arms and beg you to come back like you expected to?” jimin felt his lip tremble, and saw the flicker of namjoon’s gaze softening. it was very short lived however. soon he was back at glaring down at the boy. 

“just take whatever jin needs.”

“are all cheaters like you or do the others at least feel remorseful after?” he attacked, stopping jimin in his tracks. the younger, who had already begun to walk away, whipped back around, jaw taut.

“get it through your head, namjoon. i didn’t cheat on you. i didn’t even  _ touch _ him. there was barely any conversation between him and me. why would there have been physical contact?” 

“i hope you know that no matter how many times you tell me the same shit, i won’t believe you. you’ve extinguished all trust i had for you.”

“nice to know! gives me a brand new perspective of our relationship! our very insecure, brittle, shit excuse of a relationship! i never questioned you about anything! going out with friends from work? cool! not in the mood for cuddles? great! even when i wanted to go along with you to those outings, even when i was feeling down and really needed your arms around me? cool! i’ll respect that. the moment i’m kicked out and turn to my last resort option, i’m the bad guy?”

“he was yoongi’s boyfriend! you hear that? your best friend’s boyfriend! and you  _ slept  _ with him! how can i be sure you wouldn’t do that shit to me?”

“because i love you, namjoon! because i fucking love you!”

“and what about yoongi then? is he just an afterthought?”

“it happened, yoongi and i talked, we’re over it! stop bringing it up!”

namjoon threw his head back, groaning. “i was going to stop bringing it up, jimin. but you’re fucking stupid. yoongi had already told you to go back. it wasn’t a last resort, jimin. you willingly ran to that fucker. i was hoping you’d at least be self aware, but no such luck, i guess.”

”don’t act disappointed. you chose me. you almost dated jin hyung right?” namjoon stiffened at that. “yeah. i caught the vibes right away, since i met jinnie. and yet i trusted you with him alone in the house a few times. isn’t that funny?”

but namjoon just squared his shoulders and glared. “you’re a piece of shit,” he spat.

”i know.”

”that’s it?”

the younger groaned in exasperation. “yes, that’s it! it’s not worth it, defending myself. you’ll just find a way to shut me down.”

”oh.” 

“please don’t tell me you wanted to keep fighting,” jimin grumbled. “because if so, find someone else.”

”not fighting. it’s just... you look hot when you’re angry.”

silence blanketed the entire small apartment, thick and heavy and warm, much too warm. jimin went to sit on the couch with a huff from his puffed cheeks. “things never change, i guess. except i refuse to fix this with sex.”

”don’t get me wrong, jimin. i’m not going to touch you. i just said it before you bring up my boner first. it’s less mortifying if i admit to it.”

jimin’s eyes flickered down to the prominent bulge in his ex-boyfriend’s jeans, breath shaky as he sighed. “i wouldn’t have even noticed. you shouldn’t have said anything.”

he looked away and grabbed his phone, reaching it from his place on the couch just barely. he shot a quick text at his best friend and his shitass boyfriend. 

**me** : _just now_

_we fought and i have you both to thank :D_

the response to the text had been almost immediate, but he didn’t look at the screen as his eyes followed namjoon, who walked past him to the table. “you haven’t opened it? yoongi’s been bragging about this thing for a while.” the other didn’t say anything, just watched his ex boyfriend’s hands work on the wrapping without permission.

”h-hey! why are you—?” jimin shut up effectively when his eyes met namjoon’s. “oh.” was all he said. 

namjoon took out a small, shiny object, snorting. “it’s a handmade music box. wonder what song plays?”

the twinkling melody made them both stop breathing, namjoon’s cheeks burning brightly. it was the song he had written for jimin playing from the small music box, serendipity. with all the stress of his ex boyfriend lately, he had forgotten about the song. now its metallic tune filled the silence almost magically. it wasn’t only one part of the song, so when it ended, it had felt like mere seconds, definitely not enough. 

“just let me love you,” jimin sang shakily, stopping to clear his throat. except, when he tried again, tears tumbled down his cheeks and he laughed nervously. “that’s... one hell of a gift.” namjoon gingerly set the music box down on the table, slowly, tentatively, making his way toward jimin. he definitely gave him enough time to walk away. he was both nervous and surprised when jimin remained seated. 

“jimin...”

”y-yeah?”

”i’m sorry.”

”i’m sorry, too.”

he remained standing in front of him, not making a move to get closer or add more distance between them. it was a bit of torture because jimin wanted nothing more than to close the distance or say something, but well. what could he possibly say or do? 

what could he possibly do when he no longer has the right to do anything?

”jimin?”

”what is it, nam?”

”let me stay the night.”


	32. make it right (and for fucks sake stop blaming everything on yourself i mean yeah its your fault never mind king carry on)

he looked so peaceful as he stirred the sugar into his coffee, hair a mess and sleep still in his soft gaze. he had brushed his teeth and washed his face, but the sleep marks on his cheek were still red and angry. yet, he looked kind of gorgeous in the sad excuse of a kitchenette, smiling a little as he tasted the contents of the mug. 

jimin turned his attention back to the mug in his own hands and took a cautious sip. 

things weren't back to normal. he fell asleep in his arms but even his hold felt different. fragile. the damage was done. they had spent most of last night singing to each other, apologising, and cuddling, but he could feel the difference. he didn't let that train of thought stray for too long, not wanting to think about the frailty of life and the threads that composed it. 

“are we back together?”

just like that, the atmosphere changed, and jimin tried his best to seem like his breathing didn't falter at the other's words. “i don't know,” he replied as calmly as he could. “should we?” 

namjoon made a noise that fell between a giggle and a huff. “dunno.” 

jimin nervously downed his entire mug. 

where did they fall now? what were they? what could they be-- if anything? 

“i don't know what's wrong with me, i love you too much,” namjoon admitted, his voice remaining calm until it slightly pitched toward the end. “i love you and i don't know what to do.” jimin ignored the pressure in his chest as he looked into his empty mug. 

“i don't know what to tell you. it's all up to you. although i think i did enough damage for you to want to leave…” he looked up at namjoon, but he was looking toward the window. “if you choose to leave, i won't blame you. as long as we're both still there for yoongi, whatever you decide is fine.”

he turned his attention back to the boy perched on the sofa bed and licked his lips before carefully delivering his next sentence. “how about you tell me what  _ you  _ want?”

“you,” jimin replied softly. 

namjoon wasn't satisfied with that answer. he wanted something intricate, elaborate, thoughts he knew jimin was able to convey… and yet, he knew that one syllable carried the weight visible on jimin's shoulders, carried a thousand unspoken thoughts. 

but then when namjoon set his mug down to make his way to jimin, the younger let it all out desperately.

“things wouldn't be the same, they never will be,” jimin started, “but you will. you'll be the only constant, and that's honestly more than enough. i'm tired, namjoon. tired of myself. tired of the things i brought upon myself. and whenever i'm tired i wish for being home. and  _ you're _ home. so where do i go if not to you? it's my fault for being selfish, for liking praise, for being so easily wooed with just a few compliments and a few touches.” there it was, namjoon thought, walking the short distance and sitting on the coffee table in front of him. “i don't think i ever liked him-- that much i felt when i started dating you. i think i just liked the attention. just that. your love felt so different from his words and i knew it. i knew it was all wrong… and i didn't… say anything. just let it happen. because it felt nice being wanted. it felt thrilling to know i wasn't supposed to be wanted. i was a proscriptive idea, i was a sin… and that felt so powerful. in retrospect, i knew i was being a piece of shit. but maybe i've always been. because now  _ you're _ the one i can't have, and i'm sat here, scared out of my wits that you'll walk out the door and leave me, but completely aware that's the right thing to do. you leaving right now is the right thing to do. me letting you heal is the right thing to do. last night when you asked to stay, i should've said no. but i'm selfish. i'm blinded by your love that i refuse to see the correct path. and i'm sorry joon.”

namjoon frowned. how many times had they said sorry last night? the words now sounded strange as they rolled off their tongues into existence. he carefully reached for jimin's empty hand but jimin clenched his fingers into a fist. “jimin, do you love me?”

“nam, please.” 

“jimin.” 

“i love you with all my heart.” 

“and i love you, too.”

“the damage is done.”

namjoon shrugged, smiling a little at jimin's glare. he tried to hold jimin's hand again and this time the younger relaxed his fingers, allowing them to intertwine with namjoon's.

“i got a dog,” namjoon spoke, a bit of humour in his voice. jimin looked up from their hands and raised a brow at the sudden conversation change.

“you  _ what?” _ jimin asked with a ghost of a laugh.

namjoon allowed himself to grin as jimin's hand gripped his own a little more confidently now. the warmth from his hand alone was soothing. they had to talk, mostly about how badly they both handled the situation, but it had to be done either way regardless of how repetitive. “i got a dog,” namjoon restated. “i've got to admit, though, being a single parent is hard.”

the sound of jimin laughing in earnest was music to his ears.

 

moni curled into himself in the backseat, lazily looking at seokjin and yoongi. 

the younger lowered the volume of the radio as he let out a sigh. “taehyung and hoseok… they've been weird since they returned from vegas, right?” seokjin shrugged. he didn't know them well enough to know. still, it seemed to be bothering yoongi, especially while they were in their small apartment, since the other two had volunteered to take moni for his shots. “i wonder if something bad happened… they'd tell us, right?”

seokjin smiled. “what happens in vegas--.”

“i know… but it still worries me.” 

“i don't mean to sound cold or dismissive but…” seokjin threw him a brief glance and quickly focused on the road again. “focus on yourself for once. yoongi you only think about your friends. it's wonderful, but you need to do your thing, too. i haven't seen you with your camera in what feels like eons.” the shorter shrugged dejectedly, toying with his sleeve. “and i dont want to sound like i'm lecturing you--.”

“trust me, i know. i promise i'll try.” yoongi sighed, scooting to his left in order to rest his head on seokjin's shoulder. “i love you. these past few months…. they've been a riot, huh? i'm sorry we haven't been the most harmonious couple.”

they both smiled as they looked out the windshield, jin shaking his head a little. “i'm proud of myself, you know? for approaching you like that. god, that was  _ lame.  _ a handmade card? what am i, five? and our mess of a first date… how are you even my boyfriend? you can do better.” 

“i…” he hated how shy he felt as he tried to spit out the words. “i don't want better, i want  _ best.  _ you're the best. you were personally made for me. i love you, seokjin. i'm crazy for you. that being said… i was thinking…” seokjin tilted the boy's chin up at a red light, cueing a blush from yoongi. “joonie and jimin most probably already patched things up… and i realise most of my frustrations with them were due to me being single… and… i was just thinking… my flat could easily fit all four of us. if you wanted to. i would love for you to move in.” 

the car fell silent. moni's soft panting and the almost muted music were the only sounds in the car. yoongi instantly regretted his words. what was he thinking? on what alternate plane of existence did he think he was?

a few minutes of silent driving passed, and they were almost to jin's place, when he finally spoke. “i don't think… well, i don't think they'll take it well. if we narrow it down, that's literally the reason why we have a dog in my backseat. because you hated having a couple in your flat. just saying… i'd love to, but i don't think your friends would.” 

okay, that made sense, yes. but yoongi really wanted his boyfriend around more. which was honestly funny considering it was _ days _ ago that they decided they should stop moving as quickly. yoongi guessed he just was in too deep and he himself didn't understand just how deep that was. 

“baby,” seokjin tried, “don't feel bad…” 

yoongi didn't necessarily feel bad. 

he just wanted his loves close to him.

the thing was, he should've been more considerate, more understanding, less self important. in the end, namjoon paid the same amount of rent and had the right to do whatever in the privacy of his own room. but yoongi had been blinded by his hurt that he overlooked it. 

he really felt like a shit person. 

he had to talk to both jimin and namjoon, alone. apologise. he couldn't believe he had been the cause of his own troubles, as well as other people's. he had to right his wrongs, or at least try. 

things should go back to normal once he really talks to them in earnest right? 

they should.

they walked to seokjin's door, the younger holding moni like a baby, and walked in. yoongi wasn't expecting his best friends to be laughing, watching a video of sorts. they looked up, and jimin smiled instantly when he saw the dog in yoongi's arms, gently pushing namjoon off and standing up to get moni. “my son has arrived! hello, cutie!” the dog sniffed him first before enthusiastically trying to cuddle into him, tail wagging. namjoon looked on from the couch, small smile on his face. yoongi could see how love sick he was. 

his fears and missteps had caused so much harm to his best friends. he had destroyed a beautiful relationship. he really needed to talk to them, no matter what the outcome could be.

>   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha the title was different but guess who has MOTS on repeat?   
> anygays   
> if you could follow me on twitter and get me to write thatd be cool like just dm the fuck out of me or something idk i need peer pressure to function sometimes lmao
> 
> my accounts are @min_yoogioh and @seokjinsthyrsus but the second one is just in case youtube gets my account zucced lmao i just wanted to share that username lmao  
> if twt is not your thing u can do the same on instagram  
> my accounts are @min_yoogioh and @diosborrowedtiddies
> 
> ily all so much

**Author's Note:**

> hi, hello o; 
> 
> i hope you enjoy this insomnia induced... whatever this is :)


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